Figured Id give this a go, I watch this show called last man standing its a great show. Mike played by Tim Allen is pretty much gonna be me in 20 years. In the show he does a video blog for work but its tied into the main theme of the episode. So I figured I try it. Alot has happened to me recently, and no im not really one to blog or put my thoughts and emotions on on Facebook. But this I feel needs to be put out there. So if ya dont like ya can un friend me or what not it wont be the first or the last. It is gonna be long read but if it was a video it would be short. Here it is enjoy btw if tagged you in this there is a reason ok sorry if ya get mad at me for doing it. I either value your thoughts or insight or I value our friendship. History, walk the line/ some where with you. We all are told learn lessons of the past dont let history repeat it self. Well due to my what ever I let it happen, history repeated itself. Lets travel back in time, 12 some odd years ago I unintentionally introduced two people to each other that turned into a very loving relationship that lasted years. Well maybe 2-3 years ago they broke up. I had gotten both sides of the story after everything was all done. What I got from it i cally x/ y conundrum. Something i told my self i would never ever do. Basically in a nutshell she needed to talk to him, things were bothering the hell out of her in her head regarding life family and socially. She went to the one she loved for help and to talk it out be there for her. He having his own dilemmas and not really getting her cries and pleads for what ever reason. She confided in a guy friend of hers well shtf. Now present day she is with that guy friend and going strong and he is with another girl. History lesson is that as men we need to understand and be there for the one we love no matter what because one of the biggest mistakes we can do is take her for granted and allow another to be her rock. Well I allowed that to happen to me. I messed up bad, and I mean bad. I am in no way trying to get her back, I just dont want history to repeat itself. I lost her for good and its the price I pay being a dumb a**. She wanted to talk and i mean really talk to me about some heavy stuff i kept over and over blowing off her cries for help and so on. Why i honestly dont know i wish i could remember what was going on in my head at the time. Well i pushed her to far and she called it quits. The song some where with you means alot to me cause its the truth on whats in my mind and heart. She is probably with or soon will be with another guy or so I suspect. Last I heard she thinks I have moved on well I will tell yall, I HAVE NOT. reality is like the song not gonna stalk her or going to be weird. If I do meet another gal its gonna be for the simple reason of a simple high for the moment. In all honesty I love her to death I wanted marry the damn girl. As bold of a statement this is gonna be I truely feel losing her is walking the line of what it feels like when lost my dad. It hit me hard and I mean hard. When june carter wrote walk the line for future husband Johnny cash its rumored to be her talking about how she loves him yet his flaws are turning her away. So she walked that fine line. A choice that was very hard for her but love prevailed. Well for the past few weeks I been walking the line.how ya say well it goes like this figuring out I messed up big time I cross the line of sanity and insanity. For example I started drinking heavily again yet I told im actually just talking to all these different girls cause I moved on so quickly. Well no im not im workin and getting drunk cause in my mind im some where with you. As I said before losing her is close how I felt losing my dad. If I ever see her again or what not I will make it look like im happy and living life but really is im some where with you in my head. So all ya people out there reading this especially guys when your loved one wants to talk. Talk to her damn it dont be like me and my friend we both lost AMAZING girls to be basically being idiots if she or her friends ever come acoss this most likely it blow any chance of us getting back together, but the damage is done. Ya cant fix something that is broken cause it will never be the same. I just wish that it makes ya think about you and your loved one and how communication so very very vital in a relationship. Also men remember never take your lady for granted as much as you want to think you will never lose her, you can. I will always love that girl and her lil daughter, hell I feel sorry for the next girl I date when and if that ever happend cause it going to be a long long time before that happens. This girl was the one I feel it in every atom in my body and she has turned the standard or the bar so high that it will take a act of God himself and the devil joing forces to get another girl to be as or more AMAZING as the one that walked away. Losing her and letting myself repeat history and allowing this to happen cause of stupidity in my mind is like killing someone or beating a child, its gonna haunt me for a long time most likely rest of my life. If yall were in my head ya would understand, I normally dont let things eat me up on the inside but this does. Im walking the line and I hope I get out alive till then remember treat your lady like she deserves to be treated cause once she gone she GONE. Trell Jerome Spann Carrie Lynn Heidi Mayer Cheri Josh Grace Amanda Schmidt
Posted on: Tue, 04 Feb 2014 16:04:39 +0000
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