Five show ideas that failed to make it through this week’s unrelenting development meat grinder: 1. ‘True Rudd’ - Horror. When a gruesome YouTube video leaks of the PM feeding on a makeup artist (for failing to keep his lips dry), Abbott demands blood - literally draining Jaymes Diaz at a people’s forum in Rooty Hill. A disillusioned electorate concedes that the choice was always between two blood sucking demons and votes in a stunned Clive Palmer. A media feeding frenzy follows, leaving everyone drained. 2. ‘What’s The Bet?’ - Ob doc that attempts to unearth what so many panhandlers know about horse racing... that we don’t. As they sit hunched over their form guides on street corners across the nation, many “beggars” speak of going home to mansions and being perplexed that people keep throwing money at them. 3. ‘Brand Of Gum’ - Professional mountaineers must undertake the most perilous climbing challenge on Earth: Russel Brand’s gums. With kilometres of shiny vertical pinkness to scale, the race is on to see who can reach the lip-curl of insincerity before Brand features as an obnoxious Brit in another Judd Apatow comedy. Or monsters Liz Hayes. 4. ‘Seven Seconds’ - Game show. A teenage boy (the contestant) is given a pair of ‘anti-enlightenment’ mittens and told that if he removes the mittens in the next seven seconds, he forfeits a free tertiary education. As his parents watch through one-way glass, a freshly buttered Sophie Monk enters his room and begins describing her “soapiest bath EVER”. (It’s estimated that 184 teenage boys will be required per ep, assuming there will never be a winner.) 5. ‘MP T & The Women’ - Dramedy. When Craig T, a “gynaecologist” for some of the priciest ladies in Dobell, makes the rookie error of charging it back to his work card, the fate of Australia hangs in the balance. Luckily, everyone forgets. A subplot about climate change, overpopulation and the destruction of mankind is largely ignored.
Posted on: Fri, 30 Aug 2013 05:35:21 +0000
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