Following an exchange on someone elses timeline I am posting the Cardboard Clergy notice for the benefit of those who have not seen it: We are sure that you have come across our extremely successful products already. Among our lines are cardboard police cars to discourage speeding, and cardboard policemen to deter shoplifters, as well as other standard lines. Following on the success of these we are pleased to announce that we can now supply cardboard clergy. The cardboard vicar is invaluable to hard pressed clergy who need a holiday. It is life sized and comes in high, low, and middle-of-the-road models. It is especially effective when stood in the pulpit. Field trials have shown that when a cardboard vicar was installed without the congregation knowing, 40% of those later questioned had noticed no difference, while 25% said there had been a considerable improvement. Soon we hope to have available a cardboard Bishop which can be placed in the diocese while the real Bishop is in the House of Lords. Trial models have been installed for some time in the General Synod without being detected. One is even said to have made a short, intelligible speech, which was actually related to its topic. Work on the cardboard Archdeacon has unfortunately been abandoned. Market research demonstrated that since nobody actually wants the real thing there would therefore not be much demand for the cardboard substitute. Our cardboard congregation is however now on the market, and selling well. Its response to sermons is indistinguishable from the real thing, and it has the positive advantage that when volunteers are called for nobody makes a dash for the door. In some churches there has even been a marked improvement in the singing.
Posted on: Wed, 09 Oct 2013 09:30:53 +0000
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