For all of my friends who have been wondering where I am and what Im doing. For all of my supporters I wanted to let you know that im coming back leading the wolves. This is a very long post but one I found necessary to share. I have spent a lot of time feeling like a plaything for the Lords of cosmic jest. They certainly have had their way with me. Pushing me to a point where I felt a bit like Job. They almost won. But I’m stubborn. I operate with a belief that I was sent here for a purpose, I have a job to do. I was chosen to do that job because I would not quit. Being forced to spend time to examine myself and what matters to me has helped me realign myself to the requirements of my purpose. I have come to the conclusions that there are things I can’t do and that I should pass those on to others. There are things in my life that I don’t need and that I should shed that excess baggage. Part of that is getting rid of fears and doubts replacing them with trust and belief. Going back to being who and what I was created to be. Lifting the fog was not easy. It took many people outside of the voices in my head to help me see past where I was stuck. During all of that time, all I wanted to do was get back to work. It was a frustrating scenario for me. So much to do, so many that need my help, and no focus on how to do anything. I am stubborn and it took a great many friends to slap me up the side of my head. I was lovingly reminded in no uncertain terms that I had to get my act together first and then and only then can I go back to being an unstoppable force. To go through all of this was not an easy process, but certainly a necessary one. I am glad that my safety net of strong beautiful women stepped in and helped me through it. Now it is my turn to justify their confidence in me. My examination has shown me that there are a few basic things that make me happy and that’s where I need to focus on. I love life. But most important I love the things that lead to a quality of life for all. Working to that end is where I belong. I have brought all of that together into a very simple and basic business plan. A plan that allows me to address my passions and concerns. A plan that allows me to earn a living and feed my family as well as feeding other families. By taking what I know and working with people I know we have come together to develop a farming operation. A blend of vertical farming with aquaponics that allows us to produce high quality food crops, year round, with minimal water consumption and no reliance on petro chemicals and pesticides. The ability to put people to work and earn a decent living. The ability to feed our neighbors and teach them how to feed themselves. This plan is now in its final reviews and being sent out to several potential funders who have expressed an interest. For me, this has been a difficult road but it was one that needed to be travelled. At no time was I alone on the trip. While all of this was going on my family was in crisis, there was no income and food security had become an issue in fact even our home was at risk. Friends stepped in and helped. They believed and their compassion made it possible for us to continue. In this whole adventure, I have learned humility. I have learned to be open and even more direct. I am reminded that I can’t do it all and asking for help is not weakness it is a decision that serves the well being of all. That well being trumps the false assumptions associated with personal pride. I can’t say that we are out of the woods, in fact I know we are not. Until the funding is in place we can’t stabilize. We are still struggling to keep utilities on and fighting to keep our home. As I see it, we have to last another month until we see relief. For us that means we have to go back to our community of friends and ask one more time for whatever help or assistance there is. In an ideal world, I would simply borrow enough money to bridge the gap but I don’t know of anywhere that I can do that. It is not my desire to be a burden to my friends or my community in fact it is quite the opposite, I need to go back to being an asset. A strong reliable asset that helps to make a difference.
Posted on: Thu, 16 Oct 2014 16:45:33 +0000
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