For my lady friends... A woman stood before the judge, accused of assaulting a Mammogram Technician. Your Honor, I plead guilty, but with extenuating circumstances. The female judge asked to hear her story. Your Honor, I arrived for my mammogram and some perky young nurse named Belinda told me to strip to the waist and put on a gown. I did, while Belinda skipped off to prepare the chamber of horror. Once we finished with my right breast, Belinda attacked the other. Stand on your tippy toes and lean in so we can get everything. I did. Why not? I was freezing, bruised, and out of breath, so why not lose the remaining circulation in my legs and neck? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity, with my breast wedged between two 4-inch squares of glass, when the room went black! Complete darkness. The power was off! Belinda peeped, Uh-oh. Ill get maintenance as she headed for the door. Hey! I shouted, Dont leave me like this! But Belinda kept going. Ill leave the hall door open so it wont be completely dark. Be right back! And before I could scream Noooo! she disappeared. And then Bubba and Earl, the maintenance men, found me: half-naked, dangling from the Jaws of Death, my boob mounted under glass. Earl gave me a polite, Hi, hows it going? Bubba asked, Didja know the powers off? I tried not to scream. Yes, I can see that. Okay, said Bubba as he waved good-bye like we were in line at the grocery store. Take care, now. Ninety minutes later, Belinda bopped in wearing a sheepish grin. Oh, I am soooo sorry. When the power came back on, I totally forgot about you and went to lunch with the gang. Are we upset? And that, Your Honor, is exactly how Belindas head ended up between those clamps! The judge didnt even try to contain her laughter. Case dismissed!
Posted on: Tue, 08 Jul 2014 15:44:24 +0000