For some reason, I thought that when I came back to New York - TopicsExpress

For some reason, I thought that when I came back to New York feeling way more confident and self-aware than ever before, those fat-shaming comments from other gay men wouldnt affect me anymore. But here I am, still thinking about those two comments from Friday that suddenly plunged me into my past insecurities. What this tells me are a few things: 1. Hurtful things just hurt. That sounds so primitive, but Im learning that no matter how thick your skin (or I guess in my case, my fat) grows to become, hurtful things still hurt. 2. People who make you feel negatively about yourself are who to blame - not yourself - and its okay to call them out. 3. Fat-shaming is a serious problem that doesnt exclusively affect people who are not even, by medical standards, overweight, and such comments should not be made so flippantly, even if jokingly. Im looking at you, mainstream gay male culture and you, womens fashion world, and you, bullies of the workplace, school, and society. I cant help it that Im practically always hungry and that I enjoy eating. You do not need to verbalize the thoughts that once dictated my self-perceived self-worth. You can keep those thoughts to yourself. In return, I may be willing to share my cake with you. Maybe. Gotta keep growing my thick skin, yaknow.