For the last couple months I�ve been overwhelmed with bizarre thoughts (about the nature of reality, life, etc.) which have culminated in a paranoid delusion that the entire world is nothing but a figment of my imagination, and has always been. This scares the absolute living hell out of me, but I still believe it, and live my life as if it were true. How�s that for messed up? I wish I could shake it, but I can�t. It has consumed me, filling my mind 99.9% of the time. When I tell myself the idea is nothing more than a delusion based on other fears, I cannot fathom the delusion not being true. I would like nothing more than to realize/rationalize that it is a symbol for something else, but I can�t. It seems so justified, so true and profound, especially given the fact I�ve had similar thoughts since childhood. With DP/DR terrifying old thoughts have creeped back in, and have now become horrible delusions which have turned my mind 180.
Posted on: Mon, 29 Jul 2013 10:45:54 +0000
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