For years I felt like a begger asking my kids dad to fully provide for my kids and I. Watched him buy car after car, tv after tv, playstaion after playstation, game after game, for yeeeears when he was good enuff to not be in jail.Fed, clothed and gave the world to my kids by myself while he bludged off us not helping to pay bills, eating more food than he bought, took our furniture right down to the kids bed and made mess after mess in our homes all the while running around town talking absolute shit about me and cheating... 12 years I was silly enuff to put myself thru it and back into it. Yeah I tried to make a break with other guys and yeah I went back cos he scared the guys away and plead poverty and lonliness to get back in the door. Broke the law countless times to give my kids what they deserve and for what? An arsehole without a heart that left my kids to be orphans when he should have handed himself in so I could go home and be their mom. Now I have a darling man, thats got the balls to growl me, the sense to talk with me and the love to hug me when im a not-so-happy camper... Why am I posting this? Cos everything Ive ever wanted my kids dad to do this man wants to... Provide for my kids and I, keep us off a benefit, out of crime, away from gangs and stupid life choices... To support me going to Uni, to help me nurture my family and grow us into an enterprise... And ya know what... Im scared.... Shit scared to allow that man to do this for us... Not cos I think he cant cut it but cos I think I cant .... So scared my love wont end up being enuff cos thats all he wants... Just me... Trying so hard to let old habits and a past life die yet still, Im scared of the future.... #LivingInHope #Book2Chapter12TitleNathan
Posted on: Mon, 14 Jul 2014 03:46:08 +0000
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