For years I tried to be something I couldnt be. More than anything - TopicsExpress

For years I tried to be something I couldnt be. More than anything else I wanted to control life. I wanted to be the emperor at the arena deciding rather to live or die. Things got out of hand, a monster entered my mind and I lost it. My fantasy life got much stronger than my real one. I developed an urge to kill. The longer I let it go, the stronger it got. My hands were itchy and I was thinking. I had to kill. When suddenly a girl passed by, she noticed my nervousness and asked me what was wrong. I faltered and told her I was fine. She didnt believe me and a moment later she witnessed her own end. I was singing to myself on my way back home. My homicidal desire built up in such a proportion that when I pulled the trigger, all the pressures, all the tensions, all the hatred, just faded away, dissipated.

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