Four Confessions on a Friday...like Pixy Stix with wet ends 246. Sooooooo.....my birthday is coming up. My birthday always reminds me that I might not be the most grateful person. Therefore, instead of me working on becoming a better person, can we all limit the amount of time we retain birthday cards? And can it be less than a day? I always hate cleaning up after opening the gifts and having to make a special pile for the cards that Ill throw away once everyone leaves. Now that were talking about this, I also hate reading birthday cards out loud, so I do a weird thing where I start off at a normal volume, trail off, whisper, mumble, and then loudly show my gratitude at what was written. Happy birthday, we luhhh mmmm hmm so muh and (whisper whisper whisper). Hope your dah is muh mm. OH...THANK YOU!! 247. I confess that I hate when we perpetuate bad lazy stupid jokes. Can we stop doing bunny ears in photographs? It was never all that funny. Plus, the person doing bunny ears is typically disliked enough to not be asked to be in the photo. Lets take everything away from him/her. I have never seen a picture with bunny ears and thought: Oh, what a great photo! Wait! What is that behind Joes head? Are those ears? Like bunny ears? No, hold on, Rick has put his fingers behind Joe as if to give the impression that Joe has a set of additional ears above his head. Now thats comedy. At least during the time of having to develop pictures, bunny ears was a joke that was delayed. Still not that funny and the perpetrator was likely not there for the big reveal, but at least you were able to ruin a picture that someone else had to pay for. I guess that would qualify as Schadenfreude. Now, in the age of camera phones, you lean together, take a photo, review it, see the bunny ears, get annoyed, lean together again, and take another. It hardly seems worth it anymore, am I right? 248. I confess that I cant stand when I ask someone a specific question and they respond with a banal nicety. Especially when their response ends up being inaccurate. The best example of this that I can muster is when you inquire what type of music someone likes and you get the vapid response of everything. Okay stop. You dont like everything because everything in music includes Rock and Reggae and Country (Western too) and Hip Hop but it also includes Medieval Love Songs and Funeral Marches and Goth Rock and Steampunk and K-Pop and Electronica. It means Milli Vanilli, Nancy Sinatra, AND Right Said Fred. You equally value the work of all the Kennys-- Loggins, Rogers, Chesney, and G. Saying you like everything means you just go to a record store and start grabbing or more contemporarily, iTunes and just start clicking and downloading. Anything you can get your hands on is your preference. I hate the everything response because it means that you really like nothing. If you answer everything when someone asks you this, you are missing the point of the question. I am merely asking you to tell me something about yourself. So loudly proclaim, I like what is on the radio! We wont judge. That means you have good taste. Weve created a whole musical category for you. And it will never go out of style, because it is Popular music. 249. I like to think that I work hard. Everyone does. Still, the toughest month I have ever endured working has not even remotely tired me out as much as a week of vacation. Returning to work after even a short vacation is almost impossible. The Sunday before you return to work after a vacation should be treated as if you have just taken a heavy sedative. Bed rest, do not operate heavy machinery, hallucinations may occur. Share this with a friend and I will make you a mix tape, heavy on the Stevie B.
Posted on: Fri, 29 Aug 2014 10:06:09 +0000
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