From Bob Wooldridge about his cousin and our friend Pam Wooldridge Ellis: Martha and I attended Pams Memorial last week. It was a beautiful tribute to her. One of her closest friends and associates, Susan Simon, who Pam called her rock gave the eulogy. She was kind enough to send us a copy which is attached for those of you who would like to read it. She did an unbelievable job. Thank you Susan, it was truly a pleasure to meet you. It is with humility and overwhelming gratitude to Pam and her beautiful family that I stand before you to speak about this most amazing woman and my friend. I can tell you, with complete assurance that Pam was so grateful and humbled at the outpouring of love with which she was showered over these past few months. She would be equally thrilled, no doubt, that so many of you are gathered here, in her honor and as a recognition of the lives she touched. And touch, she did. Whether it was in her love for her profession, in her love for her friends, and, most especially, in her love for her family, Pam never shied from her devotion. As I pondered this moment, I kept coming back to one particular song from the iconic musical, “the Sound of Music.” Don’t panic…don’t’ head for the exits. I am not going to sing. But that song keeps resonating. If you’re familiar with the musical, you’ll recall that the nuns in the abbey are baffled by the uniqueness of one of their nuns, Maria. They join in song as they ponder, “how do you solve a problem like Maria?” It is a tribute to a not so ordinary nun. It turns out that there was no problem with Maria…she just didn’t fit the mold. She was an original. She was illusive. She was unpredictable. And so was Pam. Pam was certainly an original. She lived her life, her way. Always the professional, she practiced real estate, her way, bringing to it a flair for marketing and setting the standard of creativity and pizzazz for our real estate community. She could be illusive….one could be looking for her, “where’s Pam?” “Have you seen Pam?” “Call her.” “No answer. Her phone’s on her desk.” “Where is she?” Soon, she’d saunter in, saying, “Hi, ya’ll. ”She had been with a customer picking out wall paint or gathering props to “stage” a home she was having open, “tomorrow.” Which brings me to another iconic literary character, whose name I often called Pam. That is Scarlett O’Hara. Scarlett’s uncanny ability to have hope for tomorrow and not wallow in the mire of today was alive and flourishing within Pam. It’s not that something didn’t matter, but “it’ll be OK…I’ll deal with that tomorrow.” To which, I replied, “OK, Scarlett.” She would smile, that signature smile. Pam always saw the promise of a new day. She was a little bit Lucy Ricardo….she always had an idea, flashing those big beautiful eyes, her brain would be working double-time and like Lucy, she always found a way to get it done. I’d say, “maybe you could dial it back a little,” but she stayed her course and she, inevitably, got it done and done just the way she saw it in her mind’s eye, even if it meant coming in, just under the wire. A character, unto herself, Pam was an amalgam of Maria, Scarlett, Lucy, and Scout, from “To Kill A Mockingbird.” An unlikely comparison, perhaps, but like Scout, Pam was intuitive and unyielding in matters of integrity. Right was right…anything less was wrong. However, she was unlike Scout, in that I’m quite certain she never wore a pair of overalls. She always looked like she had just stepped off a band box….beautifully coiffured, immaculately dressed, and perfectly accessorized. And like Maria, Scarlett, and Scout, and Lucy, Pam was clearly comfortable with herself. Ahead of the curve, rather than chasing a trend is exactly where Pam was a natural. She was authentic, generous, big-hearted, and was she ever funny! Pam was one of the most self-deprecating people I have ever known. She could laugh at herself, at her own expense….telling stories and sharing the conundrums in which she found herself….and there were many! She would begin a scenario and invariably pause, with “long story, short…” With Pam, there were no short stories and who would want that because she could spin a story with verve energy, and animation leaving us in stitches. “Long story, short…” My backseat is loaded with, flowers that I’m going to plant when I get home.” But then an out-of town buyer would call and she’d unload those flowers on her front porch, to think about those tomorrow. Well, the buyer stayed for a 3-day home search, and oops, the flowers were, well, you know. She told me that is how Ryan knew he was home…the shriveled flats of pansies on their front porch. Right, Ryan? “Long story, short….”I drove through Wendy’s to get a quick lunch, paid and drove off, without my food,” because she was in a hurry to get to her next appointment, plus food so didn’t matter to her. She did that so many times in her green Jaguar. When she got a black Jaguar, she almost did it again, apologized to the attendant, to which he replied, “Oh, that’s OK….there’s a lady in a green Jaguar that does that all the time. She sought lunch other places, after that. “Long story, short…”I have appointments scheduled all day, and I need to make sure to pick up the keys,” hurriedly driving to pick up those keys, in order to make it to her appointments, on time. If she were showing rural property, it was always interesting, because she was “challenged” in that area. I can totally relate. In fact, this little gem, I learned from her: as I was trying to learn how to get from one rural property to the next, she said, “just go back to 6th and Perkins Rd. and start over to get to the next property. No reason to try and figure out how any shortcuts.” A classic Pam real estate story….she was showing rural property to a gentleman moving here as a professor in the Agriculture department at OSU. As they’re walking over the property, he asked her, “how much bottom land is here?” Her answer: “oh, I don’t know….probably about the same as amount is top land.” Actually, Pam was very innovative within our real estate community Pam’s listings had lockboxes in place before the MLS decided to make that the standard. She always managed to create a more efficient way to manage her business. This may not seem like a huge thing…but she was a forerunner in everything she did. It was her way. The status quo was not her way, in real estate or how she lived her life. “Long story, short….” She had a prospective buyer coming to Stillwater from New York, with just a 2-day notice. He told her he was a stage actor. Amidst all her preparations, she hired a painter to repaint her office (twice…because the first color wasn’t quite right), hired an electrician to hang a beautiful chandelier, and hired someone to hang a fabulous mirror. That 6x4 office was ready…just the buyer wasn’t. He came…ostensibly, he was an actor…he wasn’t Robert Redford But if he had been Robert Redford, or the like….she was ready! “Long story, short….” She was “going to Dallas to see Ryan, Kate, Eliza, Claire, Annie, and Mac….leaving in an hour, but have to pick up a “few surprises, first, and get my hair done, and meet with a seller.” Not a problem, she always got it done. There is time and there was “Pam Time.” “Long story, short…”I was in the car wash. I really didn’t think it was working, so I opened my door to check and oops, I’m soaked.” She came into the office, perfectly dressed and drenched, with mascara running down her cheeks….laughing! Pam could juggle so many balls, and catch them all, with seemingly effortless agility. Her signature sense of humor was always intact. A Fisher Provence trip to Las Vegas for a national real estate convention was made that much more fun because of her absolute delight in even the smallest details, laughing until our bellies ached! I read recently that “when we reflect on the best times we’ve shared with our girlfriends, we may forget exactly what it was we laughed so hard about…but we’ll always remember the laughter.” And so it is and always will be. Pam was successful at everything she attempted…impeccable decorating and pre-eminent real estate practices. But the accomplishment that gave her the most pride was her son, Ryan. Her limitless love for her boy shone with every word she ever spoke about you. Without question, Ryan, you were the love of her life! Ryan, she told me that you were “easy to love.” When you married Kate, your mom was so excited and fell in love with her, too. Then, when these beautiful grandbabies came….Eliza, Claire, Annie and Mack. Well, she was over the top with more joy than she ever thought possible. She used to chuckle at her friends who were grandmothers because they were so giddy. Then, Eliza was born, and she got it… And Shirley…long before you and I met, I felt like I knew you. She began so many sentences with, “Shirley says….” She would reminisce about life in Mangum and all of the antics that you two experienced. She adored you. Mike…she spoke of you with so much love and admiration. She said “if I tell Mike I’d like a little bit of chocolate ice cream, he’ll come home with cartons of six different blends of chocolate. Shirley and Mike, you two have been devoted, loving, steadfast care-givers to Pam, and we know it was your honor. Certainly life dealt Pam some challenges and disappointments, but she always emerged stronger and undefeated. These past few months have been the most challenging, no doubt. But, typically Pam, she handled it all with such grit and grace. She never faltered in her resolve to rise to any challenge with courage. Although she never phrased it that way, it was apparent in all she did. She never complained. She never asked, “why me?” She never lamented. She grew up in a small town in southwestern Oklahoma and emerged with a natural sense of taste and style. Everyone was her friend and everyone wanted to be her friend. There was a quality about her that was magnetic. As I look out at this beautiful sea of faces, I see many friends that have stood with her, current and former co-workers who have admired and tried to emulate her professionalism, and so many broken hearts. I am going to miss Pam, every day…that radiant smile, that sweet, “southern” voice, that beautiful spirit, that indomitable sense of humor. Saying good-bye is so hard, but the memories are indelible. A 19th Century American author, Henry Van Dyke, wrote a verse that describes letting go, but keeping the faith of tomorrow’s’ promises. It is entitled, “Gone From My Sight.” It reads: I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. Then, someone at my side says, There, she is gone Gone where? Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side. And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me -- not in her. And, just at the moment when someone says, There, she is gone, there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, Here she comes! Here she comes….Thank you.
Posted on: Mon, 08 Sep 2014 16:37:06 +0000
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