From Lorna This post is to the group of parents at Treetops, Ely this morning who were LOUDLY and REPEATEDLY telling their young toddlers that they were TOO BIG for the baby section, that they are TODDLERS now, that they arent allowed in there because they are a BIG BOY/GIRL now and need to play in the TODDLER SECTION so that little babies can use it. All this was said whilst I sat in there, just us, with my almost 22 month old twin boys whilst we waited for their aunt, uncle and cousin to join us for some play time. They were clearly making a point and I should have responded at the time but frankly I was too shocked and embarrassed. This is my response. I hope it finds them. Feel free to share. One of my children has a disability. He has Cerebral Palsy which means he cant stand or walk. He also cant balance very well and falls a lot. Even at soft play, an awkward fall could easily injure him or lose his confidence. But he still wants to do the things his twin brother does so he often gets himself in dangerous situations pushing boundaries hes not quite ready for. My other child is very physically able, he can run, climb and, most crucially, get away from me very easily. It is pretty much impossible for me to safely supervise them both in the TODDLER SECTION by myself as I need to stay close to my son who needs extra care and also be able to respond quickly to my other son who has a thirst for dangerous exploration far away from his mother. He is not yet at an age that I can explain things and for him to listen to reason. So I put my boys in the safety of the baby section whilst waiting for the rest of my family. We didnt inconvenience anybody in the slightest - yet you still saw fit to judge my actions and rudely tell me your opinion in a very childish way. Now I dont expect you to understand the challenges I face as a parent of twins, one with a physical disability, one without. Perhaps you didnt realise. Disability comes in all shapes and sizes and we didnt have a wheelchair or any other big clue. But this is the thing, the clues were there if you had taken just a moment to think before you speak. If you had used this moment, you may have seen that when I walked in, one child ran in whilst the other was carried in. You may have seen me struggle to get his stiff little legs out of his carrier whilst he squirmed in frustration. You may have noticed I took the shoes off one child whilst I left some pretty awesome special boots on the other. You may have noticed me hover around one child and assist him with play more than is perhaps necessary for a child almost two years old. You may have seen him struggle to his feet and grip tightly onto every surface not letting go for a moment. If you had taken this moment you may have realised that they are clearly twin brothers. At that time, the place was pretty empty, I was obviously on my own with boys the same age and height. As you have children of a similar age yourself, you might have realised that this is an age when exploration is fun but understanding reason is hard. If you had taken this brief moment just to think rather than loudly and rudely judge, then you may have realised I didnt have any other safe option at that moment in time. I dont expect you to know my child is disabled, he doesnt wear a sign. I dont expect you to know how difficult things can be for us sometimes as you havent lived our lives. I do expect common courtesy and respect from fellow parents just trying to have a pleasant family day out. Is that too much? Please think before you declare your judgement. What were you trying to achieve here? Embarrass me? Yes you did. Force me to move on? I waited for my family to arrive. Ruin my day? Nice try but it takes more than that.
Posted on: Sun, 21 Dec 2014 11:57:23 +0000
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