From a member: Another couple weeks down and now more than ever I - TopicsExpress

From a member: Another couple weeks down and now more than ever I wish i hadnt survived. I dont know why or how I did. I want nothing more than to disappear. To part from everyone and everything around me. I feel as if all I do is hurt those around me and hold them back. I cause more problems than is needed because Im not normal like they are. Holidays I cant go out. New years and july 4th are nightmares for me. Even with the meds I still cant be out and about. I thought I had a grasp on this shit, but I can clearly see now that it controls me. It limits how much I really live. Last few days specifically have been hell. I miss my former wife. I miss my kids. I miss my family. I have nothing. I thought I had support from the one I love. Never have I been so wrong. I want her to know something. I truly do love you Sandy. I love my kids. I may never get control or understanding of this crap, but I do know what I just said is and always will be true.

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