From a reader in Central Vermont [with Ralphs replies indicated with RM]: Random comments from me, written quickly .... All that time has passed, and my pet peeve saying still exists! “I could care less, dude. I could care less.” RM: Hope you realized this was deliberate! I love this story, and although I found the first installments through some not regional blog comment, the Vermont tie is what kept me reading at first. So I am a bit worried that people without the Vermont/Massachusetts tie and knowledge might not be as interested. Although I did find the sections during the journey north interesting, and dont know that area at all. RM: I personally like stories that unfold in a real place, so Inter States has that, but I have some readers in other parts of the US and in Europe who seem to be interested all the same I think that in a short time some of your events looking back to 2010-2015 are going to make your story dated. Too much emphasis on the importance of Occupy. The 1% has entered popular speech, but the movement has died out just a few years later, and I am not sure what it accomplished. I say this as someone who was involved. These are worth a mention, but the older people looking back to these events make them seem like they were watershed moments, and I dont think they were/will be. Just my opinion, maybe based on discouragement about events recently. Or non-events. RM: Interesting points. I have wondered about this. But 2040 is only 25 years from now. Think of how we refer to MLK, the Beatles, Watergate, the fall of the Berlin Wall (25 years ago). These references may feel dated in ten years, but maybe not… Also, I have included future events like Sanderborough that “everyone knows about” to offset these a bit. RM: I spent several days at Zuccotti Park, and was profoundly affected by OWS. There is a lot about OWS to feel disappointed about. I just hope that the events of the fall of 2011 created new connections and new awareness among enough people that they’ll make some kind of difference at the right moment in the future. I think you talk too much about various technologies in descriptions of what is around in a scene, especially when the book is a read all at once (and not a few years of reading piece by piece.) Maybe mention they use LEDs the first time they come up, but after that, just call them lights, lanterns, whatever. I dont think that the characters would be referring to them as LEDs, especially as they would have been used for 35 years at that point. RM: This is a good point. Agreed. Something to watch in the ongoing edit. I like what you have done with weather events. Very believable. RM: Thanks! I like the idea of Vermont wanting to go on its own, but then all of New England being dismissed as not relevant to the fossil energy powers, and a regional breakaway. I am surprised by the inclusion of Pennsylvania - natural gas and oil played out by then? RM: All of New England is being simultaneously affected by the refugee crisis, and is already politically at odds with the Republicans (no surprise there) and fossil-fuel oligarchy, and there’s no issue I could think of that would drive a wedge into the region. They all need humanitarian aid. RM: Yes, I do imagine that the oil and gas reserves in PA are history, and that the state is also under enormous refugee pressure. Plus, the Northeast is its natural region. But I guess it could go either way. I am irritated by the academic-speak of Lost Arrow and others. My background is economics and education, and I know all the energy lingo he is using and the info he references, and want to yell at him, hey, wanna know why no one listened to you in 2020? They didnt want to take the time to decipher what you were talking about! RM: Lost Arrow’s academic, theoretical, “systems science” lingo is deliberate. Ever listened to Peter Senge or Otto Scharmer, or Dennis Meadows? That’s the community. RM: And yes, the general public could not care less, and this perspective does not seem to have penetrated political discourse, either - not in 2015, not in 2040 - which is a tragedy, of course. “Dumb as we wanna be,” as Kunstler says. RM: So, it’s no surprise that Lost Arrow’s perspective is completely alien to the short-term power politics of people like Martin Laugherty and Leland Guch, and even Jake Wilder. RM: BTW, I have to put some serious work into editing “the wisdom of Lost Arrow” because, in the current version, he overdoes the EROEI thing - giving it too much weight (IMHO) - and loses some other angles I need to bring in. I am puzzled by the lack of urgency when Jack suggests leaving at 9am, and Florence says 10am is better. Earlier on, it made sense that people didnt quite get that things were getting nasty, fast, but by now, sitting at the militarized border, Id think they would want to move. Yes, Mikes death and other events have worn them down, but even with old people and children, this all hasnt been happening over that long a period of time, and there should still be a bit of an adrenaline surge to get moving, I think. They havent been refugees/migrants for long enough to start giving up. RM: They’re exhausted! And in shock. The border is only a short distance away. And they have to pack and dry out. I was trying to make it realistic, imagining how I would feel. I found the pomme dor a loose end, but havent read the reworking of the earlier chapters. I also seem to have missed something with Gemma, will go back and read 18 at least. RM: Having (by sheer luck) the pomador, and then losing it in such a stupid, banal way (and not before it is disguised as manure) symbolizes the idea of “the past can’t save us”. I may not have made that clear enough. But, in the current edit and re-write, I am strengthening its role and significance. RM: See the reference to Gemmaluna in Return to Olia Superla Someone on Facebook did not like the term amanuensis. I thought, given Florences attitude, that the word was a good choice. I like the origin of Lost Arrows name, and his comment about what people think. I like “amanuensis”. RM: Thanks. You write dialog well. RM: Thanks! I liked the ending, but felt it was a little abrupt. RM: A lot of people think so. I’ll work on that. Cant wait for the final draft, and to read it all again!
Posted on: Sun, 11 Jan 2015 05:09:39 +0000
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