From one of our followers: My journey through happiness and to find freedom. 10/5/2014 Today I was supposed to go to the footy with dad, I didnt end up going because the whole week I had been processing about today and if Im there and anxiety kicks into high drive. Instead of goin to the footy I was gonna get my mate to take me for a drive with mum also, that didnt end up happening cause My mate had plans, so from stressing all week over going somewhere today its lead to me staying home really annoyed and angry at myself. Ive gone back a few steps I used to be able to go anywhere when I was with my ex- girlfriend but since we broke up I havent left sunbury (home), not a day goes by where I dont wish I had a different life or I could just man up and do things but as soon as I think about going somewhere I get anxious and at the last minute decide not to go. Each time this happen I get really angry at myself and sometimes wish I wasnt here in this life or wish that I could go back in time to when I first had a panic attack and fight through it so I wouldnt be the way I am today. So today went on and I was sitting inside gathering thoughts in my head and being angry/annoyed at myself when I decided Id go for a walk and try push myself to go a further walk then where Id usually go (to the corner and back), I decided Id walk not to the first corner but the second, all was successful and even though it seems so small of a step to anyone it made me feel better that I sort of did achieve something today. I plan on making further steps and pushing through the anxiety. Next weekend Ill be definitely going for a drive with my mate out of my home town where I feel comfortable. As easy as giving up would be a just be cooped up inside my whole life I really dont want that happening so instead I plan on never giving up and making further steps.
Posted on: Mon, 12 May 2014 23:20:29 +0000
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