From the LIMO CHRONICLES...... Don’t let a JOKE get YO A$$ WHOOPED. ***Disclaimer*** Those of you loyal fans of the Chronicles please note that this chapter is not entirely told from the perspective of Mario the limo driver, but coupled with RIO, the single father. As you noted in the title, I used some language Mario is not known to use in normal communication, but you will totally understand RIO once you read further. This night, I’m coming from a long afternoon involving a “chapter” I thought I was going to be writing about. It started earlier in the day with a Migraine headache that took me by surprise with 3hrs before I needed to depart for my trip, I was hoping this Bayer Migraine formula along with a nap would help in my quick recovery. Nonetheless though, the attempt at a nap didn’t quite work as planned. I spent most of the time feeling the headache increase, my head pounding. I had already had the double vision etc (you migraine sufferers know what I’m talking about) and the queasiness of the stomach which makes you feel like you are going to puke also. I got up with 30 mins to go and took a hot shower which actually helped. Still felt sick to my stomach and though most of the intense pain had subsided, I still had a lingering headache. So after dropping off my “next chronicles’ chapter” clients and spending about 30 mins cleaning and restocking. I headed to my brother’s house to pick up my daughter and her boyfriend to take them both home. We get to his house in a nice neighborhood, but it just happens to be totally dark due to a gap in the street lights, and this is where RIO made his appearance... Now the young man had just exited the back of the limo, came around and shook my hand and thanked me for the ride home. I waited until he started up the driveway and looked away for a second and then noticed out of my side mirror a shadow of a man walking up towards my door. For a moment, I thought he was coming back to say something but then saw a white face with a beer in hand… I was just about to say something to him when out of the corner of my eye I see ANOTHER figure in the passenger side mirror head for the rear door. Now, this is not the first time I’ve had random people walk up to the limo unannounced. I can say that of the (4) times in over 14 yrs, each time it has been a non-minority doing this. This is the very reason I don’t sit with the doors unlocked or allowing someone to just walk up to the car unannounced. At that moment, “shadow man” opens the back door and then proceeds to step in (with beer in hand) and sit down…RIGHT IN THE SEAT WHERE MY DAUGHTER WAS JUST SITTING. I turn in the seat and yell WHAT THE $#%%^ YOU DOING? GET OUT!!! His buddy who is at my drivers’ window is telling me to calm down, they just wanted to look inside. I again tell “shadow man” GET OUT RIGHT NOW #$%$#@ as I leap from the truck almost knocking “window man” down as I head back to the rear of the truck. I kid you not, a moment of fear, then anger, then RIO came out as I was just about to snatch him out and beat the @#$%#%$ (doo doo) out of him as he is stuttering and slurring his words telling me “calm down buddy, I was just looking.” Meanwhile, my daughter had leaped out of the seat and made her way inside the limo towards the front partition trying to get away from this intruder. They are both backing away as I again am yelling at them that I meant “get the #$%# out now, I’m not asking you, this aint up for debate, shut the #$%^ up and MOVE!!!!” I yell out, “you don’t do that, I DON’T KNOW YOU, THIS AINT YOUR CAR, if I walked up to YOUR DOOR, opened it and sat in YOUR CAR on a dark street talking bout I’m just looking, you’d be yelling HELP, ROBBERY, THIS NINJA’S TRYING TO ROB ME!!!!” And the next thing you’d know I’d be shot, arrested, beaten or on fox news. I really was ready to WHOOP BOTH DEY A$$ES right there in the middle of the street! Now the neighbors hear the commotion and I can see lights come on. The young man’s mother must have heard me because I now see her standing in the driveway next to her son who had come out in a hurry also. I open the back door to my daughter crying her eyes out and wrapping her arms around me. I’m apologizing to her (thinking she was crying because she had never seen me that angry or use that kind of language) she is just crying and not talking which angers me even more because I’m realizing how close someone had come to surprising both of us and how it could’ve been much different. I explain to the mother what happened and she is totally understanding my reaction and I apologize to her also (which she quickly said she would’ve done the same thing and for me not to be sorry). My daughter calms down and I move her up front with me as she tells me she was not crying because of what I did, but that the man had scared her. I can see that the guys are about 5 houses down behind me and have their garage door open… I back the limo down the street towards their house and even in the dark I can see my daughters’ face start to get that alarmed look on it. I tell her “its ok baby, daddy is going to be alright” and lock the door behind me (truck still running). As I walk around the side of the truck I can see that these guys and probably 8 or 9 other people have been sitting in the garage watching football and drinking etc. They see me and start to walk towards me with their palms raised in the surrender gesture. There is a brutha with them who had been drinking with them and all three of them come down to the end of the driveway as I stand in the street and let them have it. I say “I don’t know what made you think it was ok to walk up to someone else’s vehicle and just open the door and get in.” “That is how people get shot, or hurt over some stupid things just like that. My daughter is in the car, that is my pride and joy and you owe her an apology for scaring both of us like that!” Now “shadow man” is profusely apologizing, I could swear he even sobered up a bit because now he is talking so clearly. He says they saw me and didn’t think much of anything just wanted to look inside and thought it would be ok. They were just joking around and didn’t mean any harm and that he didn’t even know she was in there. I’m still letting them have it, and again state; “If the shoe was on the other foot, and I did that to you, would you be so understanding or would you be calling the police or trying to shoot me.” They both agreed and then BOTH shook my hand and again apologized with deep regret. The brutha with them didn’t say much but I could see him shaking his head in agreement as WE ALL KNOW the outcome would most likely be different if I did that to them, and they truly understood why I was so angry and felt my child’s safety was being threatened. At that moment, the brutha spoke up asking me what company I worked for and when I said ME, I work for myself, now he wants a business card and asked me if he could get a discount rate. NINJA PLEASE!!!! (ok, I didn’t say that part, but you know I was thinking it and you were thinking the same thing!!!). We left it at that, they all shook my hand one more time and apologized again, I got back in with my daughter and I drove off. She kinda laughed a little bit in amazement and said she had never seen me like that (except that time when I caught her and my niece sneaking out the house without permission and I went oldskool on them with a leather belt) (yea, yea, I know what ya’ll mumbling, but I was raised by a “BIG MAMA” and the bible don’t lie, spare the rod, spoil the child… so ya’ll nay sayers can kiss my….) Anyway, we had a little laugh as she relived the moments and said “man dad, I see what you mean when you say people don’t know RIO, I now know what you mean.” Like all you other parents out there, Don’t mess with my child or what’s precious and dear to me, RIO will #%& you up!. Night yall!
Posted on: Mon, 23 Sep 2013 15:34:55 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015