Funny... I just took a Holter monitor off, and as I was ripping the sticky pads off my chest, I thought, Gee, Id like to see how THIS registers on the monitor. Instead of a heightened marker of some kind, it probably just reads, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! in plain English :0 ) And then I thought about my day, the last 24 hours that the monitor was reading, and all the times I had to write down things that were associated with any little heart burps I had. The first, a heart skip -that I call a heart hiccup, wasnt related to anything but simply sitting down, reading, and leaning forward a little, but I was getting tired. The rest were all smallish palpitations...all related to stress. All. The stress of someone arguing with me because they did not want to step up and be responsible about something. The stress of the busy, time sensitive moments during dinner prep while I was exhausted. The stress of the dog fighting with the cat -and almost eating her. The stress of one of Gods most annoying cats ever created (she wants in the house, then to have her water refreshed, then out of the house, then back in the house, and so on), and then...the feels like it rips the top layer of your epidermis off tape that held the Holter monitor wires onto my torso. Yesterday was a pretty low stress day, on purpose, but not all days have been so low stress...not by far! I used to handle stress really well; and I mean REALLY well. It would get my adrenaline pumping, for sure, but I never felt like my heart was getting weakened by it...not like I do now. I could take on a fight with little to no after affects whatsoever...not the case anymore! Now, for the first time in my life, I am literally able to, because I have to...I HAVE to...pick and choose between what I want to step into the hurricane of according to how Im feeling at the moment. Do I have the energy to follow this thing all the way through? Because if you are going to take anything on, you must and should see it through; thats the right and most responsible thing to do. Of course, there are some things that crop up that I do not get to choose whether I walk into them or not. They appear to be choosing me! Whether I want them to or not! So, what does one do in such circumstances? Pray. I cannot wrestle with everything. I used to wrestle with anything, but an aging body has announced to me, Um...not. I love how life is faithful to keep on teaching us to walk by faith. We must! And if we do not? We die! Yep, thankful...again. Thankful for Gods faithfulness, through His gift of faith in Jesus Christ, to keep me growing up in Him even as I grow old!
Posted on: Fri, 29 Aug 2014 16:51:48 +0000
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