|| GOING TO EXTREMES IN GIVING DOWRIES TO WOMEN || Imaam Muslim collected in his Saheeh that a man said to the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam: "Indeed i have married a women" He said, ”For how much did you get married?” He said, "For four uqiyahs." The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, “For four uqiyahs! It is as if you are getting silver by digging it up from the side of this mountain. We do not have anything to give you, but perhaps we will send you on a campaign from which you might get something.” Umar radiayallahu anhu said: "Do not go to extremes with regards to dowries for women, for if that were a sign of honour and dignity in this world or a sign of piety before Allah, then Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given more than twelve uqiyah and uqiyah are forty dihram. Nowadays, dowries have soared having evil effects, preventing many people-men and women- from getting married the men spending countless years before obtaining the dowry, thus an abundance of heinous acts of corruption result from that. Amongst them are: 1) Many men are being hindered from marriage. 2) Families of the women begin to examine the dowries small or large. Since with many families, it is that (the dowry) which they use to take benefit from the man and women (in their care). If it is a lot, they will marry them off without even looking at the results. But if it is small they reject the (prospective) husband even though he is satisfactory in his religion and character! 3) If when relations between the husband and wife begin, and in most cases will not release her in kindness (in the case of talaaq {divorce}), rather he will harm or abuse her, perhaps she will return something he spent or paid to her if the dowry was a small amount, then he will release her. If the people were moderate with the dowry and cooperated in that and the leaders fulfilled this matter, the society would attain abundant benefits, tremendous ease and a great deal of security for the men and the women. Unfortunately, the people have begun to destroy one another by competing in very high dowries and increasing them Every year they add things that were not known in days of old and we do not know where it will end? We find some people especially the Bedouins traveling a path having within it ease which they defer something of the dowry. For instance, they will give someone away in marriage for a dowry, the amounts such and such, part of it would be paid immediately while the other portion would be deferred for less than or greater than a year, thus making things more manageable for the husband. [A Concise Manual Of Marriage By Shaykh Uthaymeen (p.52-55)]
Posted on: Fri, 06 Sep 2013 07:53:06 +0000
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