💝Getting it Right: Effective Pointers to Avoid Communication Breakdown in Families💝 👎Don’t assume that you know your family members so well that you don’t have to really listen to what’s being said. Always practice active listening, staying attentive to metamessages and unspoken needs. 👍Express your feelings and what’s really on your mind in a specific, non-blaming way. Remember, family members can’t read your mind. ✌Consider how your place in the family hierarchy may put you in a position of communication control. Careful phrasing will show that you respect and have an interest in what your loved one has to say. Doing so will incline your family member to open up. 👉Remember that while sharing information with loved ones is a way to build connectedness, doing so can serve to alienate family members who are left out or whose confidences are broken. Avoid gossip within the family circle. 👀Consider how gender differences contribute to different communication styles, and adapt your approach accordingly. For example, don’t force your teen-age son into a sit-down chat. Rather, shoot some hoops together or run errands in the car—you may be surprised by the satisfying conversation that emerges when you’re “not talking. ❌”Don’t stereotype. If you view Dad as “the critic,” you may always hear his message as a put-down and miss out on something worthwhile. 💡Keep a lookout for ineffective patterns of communication. Instead of asking, “How was your day?” which will inevitably lead to “fine” or “OK,” try “Tell me about your day” or “You look like you’ve had a rough day. 💥”Before reacting badly to something said, put yourself in your loved one’s shoes. Changing your perspective may shed light on intended meaning. 💗Get feedback if you’re unclear of an intended meaning. Try “Do you mean …?” or “Are you saying that …” Sources: I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives by Deborah Tannen. Random House, 2001; Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas F. Stone, Sheila Heen, Bruce Patton and Roger Fisher. Penguin, 1999; Lifeskills: Eight Simple Ways to Build Stronger Relationship, Communicate More Clearly and Improve Your Health by Virginia Williams, PhD, and Redford Williams, MD. Times Books, 1997. By Christine P. Martin
Posted on: Sun, 20 Jul 2014 22:55:59 +0000
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