Give Me Time and Space to reGrow Each Day: I am not being able to be like HIM when someone pulls the strings of my comfort zones. I don’t mind people with their own habits but I really find hard when people apply their habits on me and expects me to cope up with them in their style. I have my own style of expressions and am comfortable with it. However, the point is as long as there are things that can put my mood off, it means I am not yet free… not yet ‘who I am’. Let me consider the fact as it is: It still really irritates me when some particular individuals behave childish with me or shower me affections though I might/would enjoy if the same were given by some others especially those whose beauty I adore (how conditional I am!). This is a disease I need to treat at the earliest and get myself healed at all cost. I really want to be invincible where nothing can hurt me anymore. First of all I thank HIM who sends me these stimulants again and again. I know the purpose now i.e. to face and overcome, and, I am fighting to overcome it once and for all. Why do I get irritated? I get irritated when things are not according to my taste. That is a naturally common virus in many of us but I have to beat it by my own self conscious effort in HIS name. The same irritating stimulants don’t have the same impact on me with certain other individuals, which means I am suffering from the deadly virus of favouritism. Favouritism, I believe, has its root-cause in our sense of taste and concept. That means I like those persons or things which arouse my sensualities. What I need is again a self conscious effort to believe and turn my believe into faith and embrace the things that don’t arouse my unique instincts. (How? By believing it. How? Just like that in a long and silent meditative prayer.) I will do it. I totally condemn this misconception or willfull dislike which I have towards the people/stimulants based on the appearance. If I don’t destroy this virus, it would cause great pain to others in the same world and I don’t want to be held responsible for it. The next reason of my sickness could be from my mental reasoning in the course of which I have even formulated a metaphor too i.e. “playing or not playing by knowing the rule of the game and not knowing makes the difference.” By this I mean that many of us have built up and behave in certain pattern as per our upbringing and find it hard to part with. We need not part with it. But, the best is to be able to part with any habit and yet follow it according to the need or let it go if not required. Still then, it is a matter of individual’s choice and no one is no one to tell anyone what to choose. To come clearer to the point with a happening example, many of us have the have the habit of wishing each other ‘Good Morning’, ‘Good Night’ etc. without failure no matter what. Such are what I consider as ‘the Golden Rule of a Meaningful Living’ and I am far from picking up one. Here comes what is going on in my head: Among those following the golden rule, there are some who can live in the same way, same excellence, even if they stop following the GR and yet they follow because it is the best thing. (How do they know they can live without? Because they have lived.) While there are some who follow it because they can’t live without it. That is where I find myself pitched against the idea but with lots of love for them. I believe that my mission is not to get tied up with anyone, not even my children or wife (if ever I marry). My mission is to get myself and all my loved ones tied up only with the unfailing Divine. I believe that HE wants me to give them wings than to walk with them when they can fly. It is this walking that irritates me so much but I am trying and struggling to walk without being irritated. I will get the job done! Let me cite an example for the sake of laughing: I asked my God-daughter yesterday, ‘Why don’t you take mutton?’ she replied, “Because I don’t like the smell and bleat bleat…’ and I told her right away, ‘You have a mind problem and a homework to do but the choice is yours…’ My point is that there should not be anything that we say “NO” to it as long as it is good and necessary and allowed by our conscience / religion. In short it is all about crossing our ‘comfort zones’ to BE WHO WE ARE. Now my virus is getting clearer and clearer. I am a person who can live with the GR or without it. That’s fine! My problem is I get irritated to apply the golden rule with people whom I think can also live without it and I think it as my failure on my part / artificial to be walking with them. At the same time, when I risk to push them down the cliff so that they discover their wings, I get back such bone chilling fear right down my heartles-spine to the point of even thinking myself to be a murderer… Does this mean that I am born to take them by their hands till the last? I have no answer. All I think now is to forget myself, give all the accountibility to HIM for what happens and walk with them with eternal hope that they may fly… and if they don’t, be with them anyway. Easier thought and written than done. Let me see what effort I put in. After this introspection, I am feeling much relieved and realised the need to understand ourselves first, then seek to understand others and give each other time and space to grow and regrow. After all love is all we need to give and I definitely am willing to give. Do omit and correct my errors alright! Love is really interesting indeed. Love you and God bless.
Posted on: Fri, 18 Jul 2014 13:13:02 +0000
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