“God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.” (2 Corinthians 1:3) Arent those breakthrough moments amazing...you know, the ones where your circumstances havent changed and youre not getting what you want...but you STILL see the LIGHT through the cracks?! The moments youre at a crossroad and make a conscious decision to either sulk in your sorrow -- OR -- go broken before the Lord. Last night, I was down because I saw all these photos from others at Christmas parties, shopping with their families and enjoying the normal holiday cheer that we did my entire life. When I say my Mom loves Christmas, she LOVES it. Because I know how deeply she wants to be out doing things, it magnifies the situation and the anxiety and panic tugs deeper and deeper at my soul. Our family is pretty big on tradition -- every holiday we see the ice carvings at the Gaylord Hotel, we visit the Christmas tree light park, we shop for the children together. Obviously we cant do those things this year and instead of just enjoying the moments that we do have -- I allowed my flesh to take center stage last night and I got really sad. BUT -- I believe it’s in those moments when we finally say, “God, I can’t do this anymore!” that we allow Him to work in us in the ways that He wanted to from the beginning There is a beautiful intimacy with The Lord that comes with letting God have control. To the world it may look like giving up, but we know better than that. We have always trusted Him fully and like a child, held our arms out to say: Okay Lord, Im scared and this is tough, but we got You and thats ALL we need. Just hold us tight because we know You have it all under control. One of my favorite things about my mom is how she always put God back in the centerpiece of everything. If we were having a bad day at work: Well, what did God say about it? If we werent getting along with someone: Well, what did God say about it? Then we would always talk out loud with her about the situation. If we havent spoken to Christ about it, shed say to go back and come to her when we have. So instead of walking frustrated and anxious anymore, I decided to seek the Lords message in this battle and this is what He reminds us... If we are never broken, He doesnt have a chance to put us back together the way He designed. And even though the holidays are about the festivities and having fun...He wants to be our SOLE focus. Mom may be in isolation from the world right now, but Hes so alive in this house that we can almost touch him! We are thankful for the Lords provision -- its hard to even count the number of gifts of love we have received from friends and family through meals, cards, clothing and prayers. He continues to make us feel loved and strengthened in ways that blow us away. Yesterday we were upset because MD Anderson cant get her in now until Dec. 29. We were like thats 12 more days, theres no way she can just lie in this bed and suffer for that long! But after speaking with God about it, Hes realigned our hearts to think: PRAISE GOD that Mom gets to attend MD Anderson! If she get in earlier, shout my name! If you have to wait until then, shout my name even louder! Remind others that I am still God, Im still here and you will be there EXACTLY when I want You to be. God has put the song While I’m Waiting on my heart, explaining how the waiting time is not easy and can be painful, but God is faithful and gives us many blessings when we serve Him while we are waiting. Thank you for blessing and encouraging us in so many ways while we are waiting! We do have the Big C -- but its not cancer, its CHRIST. Love you all, Tam
Posted on: Thu, 18 Dec 2014 20:32:41 +0000
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