Good Afternoon My Survivors / And My Other Friends and family . This post I was just going to do with my Group but I find it important . and something told me I need to actually share with who is interested in what I am going to talk about today. So I will be addressing both in this post today. Today I am going to talk about my experiances in life and how they have made me stronger . There is a new song that came out last week By Kenny Chesney I have heard the song now for 2 weeks and I have been pondering on how I want to write it up. It Took me a few times for the song to hit me deep in my soul but when it did , It was all it took and like Kenny says Music is medicine I have always looked at music the right music as a healer because the right words can heal your soul when you connect . and the right music can be powerful and magical , and it can change your out look on life. So today I am going to talk about my Journey in life and what this song has started to do for me. MY survivors dont know all that i have been threw but they have a concept because we all have been threw some type of trauma in our lives. And we learn off each other and make each other stronger by caring and loving and trying to make a change. I never used to be as open as I am now I used to hide all my pain all my hurt and I let it consume me creating a false me a person who would hide behind their own shadow , I was extremly mad at life , I had no will to live, I was angry all the time , and I was impossible to connect with, [ I was afraid of my own self] with what I had become over the years, and all those hard knocks in life that kept pushing me down and keeping me down. Little did I know it was life it self making me stronger , Little did I know it was life that was proving me wrong on every step in my life. Little did i know the life was teaching me and making me who I am. and little did I know it was life That was teaching me. Before I changed myself because I was fed up with life the hurt ,knock downs, lies, the negativity, the pain and no love. I had actually turned to music in spanish and really started listening to what it had to say , and realize there where others out there suffering like me, I was not ready to come out of my shell yet , I was to scared dealing with being ridiculed or I wasnt good enough, or I would be laughed at bringing me down lower. or because of the way I looked i would not be accepted. So I choose the right songs and let God Guide me on what I needed to hear , and the music is what helped me to start to heal my soul, healing my soul I was able to heal my core ,healing my core I was able to heal my heart , healing my heart I was able to heal me. Music has been an out let for me , has been my whole life, but recently it has been more ,Being able to connect and feel such raw emotion threw the songs Music can be and is very powerful to the most damaged hurt scared soul it can heal it MUSIC IS POWERFUL. Now I sit back actually today and look at what the music has done to me, where it has taken me how it has helped me and how it has been my coushion when i fall, today I have been having one of those{ Don It , } Days .which has had me in tears . then there are a few lines in this song that just tear me apart, but I also know they are true. That life has a way of making you stronger and moving you on. Today I was looking back at the 15 yrs I spent with my x husband the hurt ,lies and pain. and trying to remember good times which are few, only when I brought my children in this world, I look at the choice I made to divorce him was I right or was I wrong? was it time to move on. He is something I knew for 15 yrs never hit me , but did have his flaws I look at it no one is perfect I believe in chances, I know mistakes happen. trust me i have my fair share, Then I look back at all the times when I was out of control with my mouth and my attitude , being negative . thinking maybe I really didnt love him at all . because I didnt even love myself. But he swallowed his pride at times and let me cuss him out say harsh things to him throw things at him, and he was still there, then his threats he would tell me I want a divorce .. been threatened many times out of the marriage scaring me , and me thinking I wasnt strong enough to be on my own, me thinking i wasnt good enough to face the world by myself . and thinking that no man would ever look at me again for all that I have been threw, That I would never be good enough for no one because of my flaws . Now I look back over this last few years and what music has done to me , it has changed me in many ways also with my [awakening spiritual] I look back on this last year going threw the divorce , and at times it breaks my heart did i do wrong by hurting this man as bad as I have by walking away? he didnt see it coming. and know I am seeing him wanting to change, and the love he needed to show to me he is showing it to me to late. Ive started to feel his hurt his pain and his depression and its killing me on the inside cause I know he loves me , and i know he knows he messed up big time, and now I am gone with no love for him. { and I know I dont love him Like a wife should love a husband] I love him as a friend now. like a brother. I question myself what did I do did i do right is following my dreams and my heart worth it. ? How will I ever know. so just recently Life has moved me on, and I pray I am not proven wrong . enough of my mush. So you see no matter what life throws at you or how bad it is , life will always make you strong ,, You must always follow your heart and soul , learn from those life mistakes , or what life is teaching you. because life is moving you on. MUSIC IS POWERFUL. With Love Dusty.
Posted on: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 19:15:04 +0000