Good Day Facebook friends. With a little time off and many prayers from so many friends,family and others. I am tremendously grateful beyond words to all of you for the amazing kindness. I have been a pretty sick Hippie Chick. For reasons even my Docs are mystified by I was in renal failure. I have been on sabbatical since August last year. With a terminal Dx I at times could feel my body giving up. In March I moved in with my family as I was unable to live alone. My amazing,kind and beautiful best friend and sister Evette Jensen allowed me to move in with her,JP my amazing brother in law and my nephews who are the light of my life. I do have my biological family and then I have my family of choice. I can honestly say that in January 1993 sitting in a rehab center angry,unbelievably selfish and with a mouth like a truck driver and immensely terrified that I was a lost in self pity and it was YOUR fault. It didnt matter who you where it was your fault. I didnt know right away why I stayed. After a few days I knew why,I had HOPE and even the a small amount of belief that I wasnt crazy. I was emotionally,physically and spiritually bankrupt and had an emptiness in my soul that was so dark I knew I would die if something didnt happen. When even in a room full of people I felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole. Today that feeling of loneliness seems like a life time ago. Willingness and a honesty to Believe in & work 12 steps my life changed. It changed with Service work. It really is a gift to give than receive. I was full of yeah buts until my hard head was changed because I surrendered to a power greater than myself. Today I still surrender to my HP. My life is full technocolor,miracle filled still growing and gratitude filled ride that is wonderfully groovy. The Promises have more than come true.Today I know a serenity and a faith that replaces fear. Fear and Faith cannot live in the same house together. I am an Authentic Hippie Buddhist Chick whos soul is filled with light and a Faith that I never knew even was possible. When I was diagnosed with renal insufficiency and that I was considered terminal and would need dialysis. Being a Nurse and knowing and watching dialysis patients, That was not an option for me. Much to the shock of my doc,friends and family. If I was going to die I knew that for me the quality of my life is far more percious. I do not fear death as it is what gives our life meaning.. I recently had another MRI of my left kidney. There was a shadow which had not been seen before. It was a tumor that was blocking blood flow. The tumor was benign and my Kidney that wasnt working is now slowly functioning. I only now deal with kidney stones. I do believe that prayers work with a change in diet and eastern medicine Portlands Hippie Chick is doing mighty fine. A little tired still. I so appreciate my amazing family and friends for the prayers,calls and love. Namaste
Posted on: Sat, 20 Sep 2014 03:57:10 +0000
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