Good Morning! There was a time in my life when my parenting was not going very well - some of you may remember the witch on a broomstick era of my life. :) At the time, I blamed everyone around me. If my husband would just... travel less, help out more, was more understanding,etc. Or if my children just ..., were more quiet, stopped fighting with each other, picked up their toys, were faster, etc. These words were part of a silent litany that ran through my head most of the time. I just kept thinking that if everyone else changed their behaviors then the witch on a broomstick would never be seen. Boy was I wrong!! Thankfully, I realized that no matter what I did, I could not change anyones behavior - except for my own. So, I got some help and our family dynamics changed drastically. Think about that for a minute - I was the only person who changed and yet our family dynamics changed drastically. Me - just me- changed and there was a whole different feeling in the house and the witch on a broomstick showed up less and less and less until I heard she moved out and went to Florida to retire. :) I learned that I was able to set the mood in the house by my words and my actions and that by staying calm, and connected and consistent then life was much easier for everyone in our house. My husband and I got along better, the kids became more cooperative and life in general was just easier. Dont get me wrong - my husband and I still had our disagreements and the children still acted out and sometimes that darn witch would make a short appearance. Life was certainly not perfect but it was a whole lot better! And it continued to get better and better the more I practiced staying calm and connected and consistent. So... please, realize that the only behavior you can change is your own. Realize that you have the power to handle things in a whole new way. Realize that no matter what happens, you have the choice to handle it calmly or to invite that witch into your house. All I can tell you is that I dont miss that witch at all!! :) Have a great week-end and have some fun! peggy I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. -Goethe Hals Take: Upon first glance, this might seem like a self absorbed statement. I suppose you could read it this way, if it weren’t for one little word. That word is “frightening”. There is a certain amount of humility when you recognize that things don’t happen TO you, but rather WITH you. You have the power – and it is immense in its nature – to take anything that comes your way and handle it with grace, humor, and dignity. No matter what happens to you, you always…always have the power to choose your reaction to it. Which means that you have the power to create a beautiful climate in your home or a stormy one. The choice is up to you. -Hal Runkel, LMFT, Author of ScreamFree Parenting and ScreamFree Marriage
Posted on: Fri, 25 Oct 2013 14:42:17 +0000
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