Good Morning from the farm. I usually write what my heart tells me too. I dont know if any of you know Glenn Beck or have listened to him or read what he has to say, But he like me writes what God has put on his heart so instead of things about me here I want to share what he had to say. This time of year is always hard. It brings back both the good and bad. It reminds me of the one memorable Christmas week we had growing up in mount Vernon Washington. This Christmas was perfect in every way at least in my memory. I was maybe 9 and because I worked as we all did, in my fathers bakery, I had money to buy gifts. I had done my gift shopping. It was when we still shopped downtown, before the mall came. It was a year that it snowed. I remember how quiet everything became. Walking down the street with my father. One of the few good memories around Christmas with my dad. This time of year reminds me of my Christmas sweater. The last gift I received from my mother, I guess I was 15. That gift, that Christmas changed the course of my life. The Christmas that I couldnt afford any presents for my children. The Christmas after that one where Hannah found a sleigh bell. How I spent Christmas alone for a few years after my divorce. How now we split the children for the holiday and how that has split our family forever. This time of the year can convince you that you are the worst parent, spouse, or human alive. It can make you feel worthless, hopeless and powerfully alone. I have been there many times. So deep in despair that I never thought it would end. It is strange how in the midst of things death seems welcome and logical. I remember the night I decided to live instead of die. I wish I could say it got better the next day, but I cant. It took a while. But not only did it get better, it got a lot better. Think of this: that night I cried out in prayer. I just wanted someone to trust me and believe in me as I had lied to everyone starting with myself for years. No one would have crossed the street to say hello to me. I had lost everything. But I decided with God I could change the outcome. Now look at my life. He has greatly blessed me. Not only do my older children live next door, but I have two younger children too. An amazing wife and more friends than I can count. If tonight you are alone, away from you children, mired in the muck of regret, broke and no hope in sight, jobless and perhaps homeless soon, sick and in pain believe me I have been there. Make the choice tonight to get up, get dressed and live for tomorrow. Everyday, just make it to bed at night with honor and integrity. There are days, especially at this time of year, when I still feel alone. Know this: You are not alone. Your children, friends and or family would not be better off without you, you will find a job, a friend, a spouse. Your life does have meaning, you do matter and make a difference and God does exist and He does see you, hear you and cares about you. You were born for a reason. Reach out to Him. Then reach out to someone else. A friend, a loved one or even a help line. You are not alone. I dont know who I am writing this for, but I was compelled to write it tonight. You are reading it, so perhaps, I was prompted to write it for you. Unlike · · Share
Posted on: Mon, 15 Dec 2014 14:13:09 +0000
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