Good Nor Bad: Just Different While living abroad I learned that people, all around the world, society itself want the same things. Before studying in Sarkikaraagac, Turkey, the only values and beliefs I knew, were that of my Californian society and American culture. In 2009, my experience in a foreign country removed me from my social and cultural comfort zones as well as my values and beliefs about family, education, religion, and politics were all challenged. I learned to accept social discomfort and cultural differences. Living abroad positively affected my learning and writing. Although my family heritage traces back to the indigenous days of the Native Americans, my grandparents were born in Arizona and later moved to California. As an African American women raised in South Central, Los Angeles during the nineties, I dealt with issues that have largely affected the black culture such as drug addiction, single parent households, divorce and more. Over the past 22 years, I witnessed my mom heal from a divorce, go to school to become a teacher, all while being a provider, as well as a protector. At one point, my mother remarried and gave birth to my younger brother and sister. Then, she divorced again. I blamed myself for numerous things, from my parents divorce to my dads drug addiction and growing up in the hollowness of a single parent home. The pressure put on my mother and women in my society, affected me directly. Sometimes, I even blamed my ancestors, for making single mothers and broken homes our norm. When l I traveled to Turkey I began to realize my familys norms were not good or bad, but socially and culturally different. In Turkey, my host family was composed of a father, mother, and two adolescent sons. My host parents are married and have been for about 19 years. Every dynamic of my families at home and abroad were different. I learned to adapt to both family norms. I found myself socially and culturally adjusting to the male dominance in the household, the domestic responsibility of women, and the importance of family in Turkey. Also, I found the strong presence of gender roles in the Turkish society intriguing. In Sarkikaraagac, my host town in Turkey, many women were unemployed. I do not even remember women driving. They spent their days in the garden, the kitchen or around the house tending to the family. Whereas, back at home, my mom works, cooks, cleans, disciplines and more. My mother plays both the mother and father role in our family. None of the differences were good or bad at the end of my exchange, only different. What I found to be similar was the role that education plays in both of my familys lives socially and culturally. My mother graduated from Cal State Dominguez Hills University with a degree in Child Development and Education, and has been working as a Physical Education teacher for about 16 years. My mother has always held education at a very high standard in our household. In my adolescent years, I brought home friends, pets, field trip permission slips and more: never bad grades. Bad grades are unacceptable in my mother’s house and I would soon learn that the rule also applied abroad in my host parents’ home. Upon my arrival in Turkey, I learned that my host dad was the Minister of Education for the the province we lived in. In the past I attended a school where my mom worked. Although I was not a mischievous child, it struck fear in my heart knowing my mom was just on the other side of campus. In Turkey, my fear struck an all time high. My host dad arranged a chauffeur to transport me from school to home. There was no such thing as a curfew or anything else that hinted to freedom. I was expected to be home from school once it ended. A couple of times, out of rebellion for male dominance, I ditched my chauffeur. However, my school friends, teachers, and neighbors knew that I was being hosted by the Minister of Education and I was treated accordingly. My dad knew I would be walking home thru town, so he met me half way and made me do homework on the ride home. As I grew closer to my host father, his expectations for my school performance raised even higher. He accepted me as his own daughter. In the beginning, I thought his approach to my academic performance and education were aggressive and a bit militant. Later, I learned that my host dad, like my mother have a boundless respect and passion for education. It is only because of love, that he required me to conform to a higher standard than the rest of Turkey’s society regardless of my family, academic and spiritual background. Being raised in Christian environment, transitioning to a Muslim country was a very different experience for me, I was baptised as a child and spent Sundays at church, Tuesdays in choir rehearsal, Wednesdays in Bible Study and Thursdays in revivals. Before going on an exchange program to Turkey, I had very little knowledge about the Muslim religion. I only knew of the negative things the news decided to broadcast to our society. While most Americans at home were perceiving Muslims as radicals or terrorists, I on the other hand was abroad learning of their compassionate, peaceful, and tolerant natures. So much that it swayed me to purchase a Koran in English and I began to compare it to the Bible. Finding the two text similar in several ways. In the Muslim religion and in The Koran; there is no Holy Ghost, Jesus is not the son of God, and the last book “Revelation”, is spanned over 23 years. Despite my Christian upbringing, I converted to Islam. At this pivotal moment, I felt that my relationship grew stronger with God practicing Muslim devotion versus Christian doctrines. I enjoyed praying before God in the privacy of my own home. I began to despise the traditional Christian congregations. Before traveling to Turkey I thought of Muslims as very different people. Now, I know that we all serve the same God but, there are aspects in our social and cultural comfort zones that disguise our spiritualities as different. There are radicals and terrorists in Muslim countries but my host family is not of that kind and my family’s choice to practice Christianity is not good or bad, but different. This foreign exchange challenged my beliefs, my values, my political perspective and rocked me to my core. It made me feel more inclined to know about what was going on around the world. Leaving my social and cultural comfort zones and being privileged enough to indulge in those of Turkey, that is when I had become a global citizen. I began to pay closer attention to how global issues affect the human race, both domestically and globally. When boarding Turkish Airlines in the summer of 2009, the start of my journey was miniscule compared to what had begun to transpire between the United States and the Middle East. The speculation and scrutiny of President Obama had just taken weigh. Innocent blood was being shed across Middle Eastern Borders. The Healthcare Debate began. The recession was taking it’s last sip of America’s fortune. There were frantic reports of terrorists bombs in Russia and I was half way across the world, dead but alive, smack in the middle of it. Just a year later in March 2010, President Obama recognized the Armenian Genocide, (the total number of people killed as a result has been estimated at 1 to 1.5 million) during an event said to have taken place in 1915. In result of the recognition, The US Embassy prohibited myself and the other exchange students of any travel, not limited to school and family activities. I could not believe President Obama allowed the House of Representatives to vote on the Armenian genocide resolution while I was studying abroad in Turkey. The tables had now turned, making me feel the direct effect of this political address, but now I held an interest in both sides. I knew my host family had killed no one, they were not even alive in 1915. I could understand why Turkish citizens were offended. Turkey had become my home away from home and my own President had removed me from my social and cultural comfort zones. I too was offended and my values and beliefs as an American Democrat were challenged. After completing my exchange, my perspective on family, education, religion, and politics was broadened. It is only because of me leaving my social and cultural comfort zones, that I have a story to tell today. My experience, as a foreign exchange student, positively influenced my learning and writing capabilities. I am now able to share, with other Americans, my perception of Turkish social and cultural comfort zones, how I am personally connected with Turks and why I am so emotionally affected. After experiencing all of this, there is this burning desire, obligation if you will, to promote tolerance of global values and beliefs. I have a family both domestic and abroad. I learned Turkish fluently, I indulged in a once foreign culture, all the while improving my spirituality and began looking at social and cultural issues in a global perspective. I made genuine connections. With that said, Turkey helped me shape new personal values and beliefs; neither good nor bad, just different. Stay Tuned for the relaunch of our blog January 2015!
Posted on: Thu, 11 Sep 2014 00:37:00 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015