Good evening and welcome to a round-up of the confused news from BFN. MISSING PLANE *12 inch remix of the last words from the cockpit released by top Malaysian group MH370-Unlimited “Basically, we’ve taken the words, rearranged them completely, changed the context slightly and added a throbbing Euro-disco beat to them. Basically we’re doing what Frankie Goes to Hollywood did with Two Tribes. They kept on releasing different versions of it and it stayed popular for months.” WORLD CUP NEWS * David Cameron allows pubs in England to remain open during World Cup matches. “Let me just say that this government is committed to getting votes from the common and rougher elements of these islands. We’ve already rolled out the bingo benefits for crude and crass women, the 1p beer tax for their children and now we have lowered our targets even further and are looking towards their loud mouthed, beer swilling, lard gutted, and hideously tattooed men-folk” SPORT England cricket team rebranded as British cricket team following the shambolic and humiliating thrashing by the Dutch. “Obviously, we can’t let England be blamed for this. The Welsh, the Scottish and the Northern Irish, despite not been eligible to play for England, should also be held accountable for England’s pathetic performance.” Said an elite spokesman with a far back accent and two red balls. INTERNATIONAL SPORTS NEWS Cricket has become the number one spectator sport in Holland. “when you’re as stoned as all us Dutch are, believe you me, cricket is about the only sport you can follow. It suddenly becomes a fast paced, action packed game” said the Dutch Minister for Cannabis, Klitty van Rental TODAYS TV HIGHLIGHTS Nothing of interest on TV tonight, especially not on Channel 4 at 10pm. and that was the Brutally Frank News. My name is Timothy Shuttlecock. Goodnight
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 18:39:59 +0000
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