Good grief I am turning fifty one tomorrow. All of you on my facebook friends list will get an annoying little reminder on the right hand side of your screens lest you forget this auspicious occasion, although I suspect it doesn’t hold much significance to anyone (except my parents perhaps, and even to them it would be rather old hat by now). This year my birthday is coinciding with Eid which means that some of you will genuinely be too busy with festivities (read eating) to come on facebook, so if I receive no greetings from you, know that I will not hold it against you. For the rest, I have a rather bizarre request. From those who are my close friends and family, basically those who would come to my birthday party were I to throw one, bearing a present, I ask for the present sans the party (don’t really see the point of a party if one is just turning a year older). I am part of an initiative that provides scholarships to girls belonging to minority and marginalized groups in Pakistan, as well as to those living in areas of conflict (this year we want to help the IDPs). In lieu of my present, I’d like a small donation to this cause. Please inbox me for info on how you can send your bhatta.. ummmm donation. Since most of you would have given me books, the monetary value of your donation need not exceed the average price of a book…I insist. From the rest of you, people who are less close family, acquaintances, colleagues, just hello-hi friends (and whose eyes are at this moment furtively but desperately searching for the un-friend button) I beg patience. Please bear with me. I demand no bhatta from you, but I have another request. Don’t give in to the instinctive reflex to click on that reminder and type ‘happy birthday’…(awkward, if you were just going to ignore it anyway…in which case carry on)…but if you were indeed contemplating writing the greeting, STOP…think about doing one (or more) of the following instead: (1) Hug someone (no inappropriate hugging of strangers please). (2) Plant a tree (if you need assistance, join the tree plantation drive by Adopt a Pot on fb). (3) Do a minute of humourobics (I suggest this because things being the way they are in the world, laughter is not coming naturally very often and this is a sure fire way to generate some, but only those people who are not afraid of looking silly should do it!). Stand in front of a mirror, preferably with a group of friends or family members, especially little children. Place your hand on top of your head, with the fingers pointing straight forward. Reach down with the middle two fingers and touch the tip of your nose – pull the nose up, flaring the nostrils. Flap your tongue in and out of your mouth and make a high pitched noise. Repeat five times or till you laugh. (4) If you have a dog, give him his favourite treat. (5) Sing out loud, or if none of the above, then just…..(6) Smile. Then in that little message space on my wall (or under this post), type what you have chosen to do. So the messages instead of ‘happy birthday’ would read: ‘I hugged my Mom’ or ‘I will plant a tree’ (even the most efficient of you will not have planted one over-night, so just the intention will do), ‘I did a minute of humourobics’…(and tell me if it worked), ‘I gave my dog a treat (insert name and type of treat), ‘I sang’ (if you want to share which song all the better) or ‘I smiled’. Btw, the ones giving donations (the five of you know who you are!!) are also required to do this second bit of typing messages…and no you cannot type ‘I gave a donation’ (there is something called discretion and putting the neki in the darya and all that). I have 178 facebook friends. If I get ten (which comes to roughly 5% ) messages like the ones above, (five I can physically sit on top of and ensure compliance, so it’s a matter of five more basically)….I will feel like I’ve had a genuinely HAPPY birthday. Consider it as participating in a social media experiment… trying to bring some ‘soul’ into ‘face’book! We’ve begun to click buttons, scroll down screens, hit ‘like’ buttons or type appropriate responses to pictures/statuses or reminders almost mechanically, without thinking, without feeling. I just want to see if we can change that once in a while. Indulge me…. it’s my birthday!
Posted on: Mon, 28 Jul 2014 10:22:16 +0000