Good morning Friends.::) Today I submit to having a interventional procedure on my back... after living with incredible pain since a car accident I was involved in 5 plus years ago. Two substantial herniated discs, damage to my hip, upper leg, ankle and foot. The pain; deep, gnawing, unrelenting changing depending on my posture of position of my body. Regularly waking me up 3-5 times a night has just worn me down. I have stood up for my sister, my mother and others without taking the best care of me. I am exhausted mentally and physically. Now I must stand up or rather CHOOSE to stand up for myself. I have kept a good and smiley face that most of you have seen and experienced pretty much through out this ordeal and only a few who have really seen me fight to stay afloat. I miss not being in pain. I do not like that I have been having to measure what I can do, how much I can do, how far I can walk, what I can lift what I can carry what chair I can be somewhat comfortable and much more. I miss simple things like a walk around my development, walking in the sand at the beach, sleeping through the night, I miss being an athlete. Most of all I miss being me.... Some where in this episode of my life is a blessing and a growth opportunity... I realize now more than ever how precious life is and understand (though I dont like it) that we all will not be here forever! So I am off to the outpatient surgical center becoming vulnerable to the Doctor to do his magic procedures to relive some if not all the distinct and global pain that has just worn me down.. So G-d, I am always in your hands, please give the Doc the insight and direction to make this better so I can again be strong enough to be of service to you G-d my wife and son and all those whom you allow to come into my life personally and professionally... I pray....
Posted on: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 09:59:14 +0000
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