“Good morning Mister Teboe. I’m Nicole, Doctor Kevorkian’s nurse practitioner,” from her lips, said almost silently - almost telepathically - in a breathy Australian accent - with a touch of ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ affectation. “What brings you into our office today?” I have seen one or two things in my life but never, never anything like this. “Please have a seat on the examination table,” she professionally instructed. “I need to change into my lab coat.” “If the good doctor herself should ever want anything again... anything at all... it neednt be a costume,” I somewhat anxiously replied. The space between us diminished as she approached in what seemed like super slow motion, armed with a medieval looking contraption called a Sphygmomanometer. Damn, I thought. What did I get myself into??? Not one of them Mark Super VII [tm] model Scientology E-Meters. On the edge of the table covered with that white crinkly doctor’s office paper so hastily ripped out, I sat frozen, unable to utter even a single syllable. “According to your chart, Mister Teboe, I see you are NOT allergic to latex. Are you?” All the while slipping her hands into a pair of powdered gloves, pulling them ever so tightly. Audibly snapping the ends against her wrists. “You know what they say, once a doctor always a doctor, “ I managed to stammer out. “Yes, or in my case, never a doctor, never a doctor,” was her ever so matter-of-factly stated response. Leaving the exam room all flustered, the office staff was able to extricate from my George Costanza organized wallet, my non Obama-Care subsidized Blue Cross Blue Shield twenty-dollar co-pay. This was done with absolutely no anesthesia, local or general. Of course it had to be like the Olympic games. I offered my American Express card. But NO! They only take MasterCard and Visa. Or Discover. No rewards points today I guess. I was handed a prescription for azithromycin, the Zithromax Z-Pak to be used prophylactically, you know ‘just in case’ and enthusiastically scheduled a follow-up appointment for September eleventh. You now might ask, where exactly am I going... exactly? Where the rainbow ends. And no dream is ever just a dream. If you men only knew! youtube/watch?v=Os-cHI9G2KU
Posted on: Wed, 04 Jun 2014 00:40:04 +0000
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