Good morning! Tea or coffee? Only uncivilised people drink tea in the morning!, I once heard someone declare jokingly to his host when offered tea at ten in the morning. He was of course merely stating his order of preference in his own characteristic way. But I wish it were a statement that could be taken as a sociological fact just as Newtons To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction is a scientific fact. A lot of matters would then be simplified considerably. All you have to do when you want to find out whether an acquaintance is fitting company is to invite him over to your place one morning and ask him Tea or coffee? If your guest says Tea , please, then be wary of his company. He is dangerously uncivilised. He is about to pounce on you, carry you off to his dwelling place, prepare you according to his favourite recipe, and holler out to his offsprings, Breakfasts ready, children! On the other hand, should your guest prefer coffee, you are certainly in luck. Be rest assured that that you are in fitting company. You are entertaining a member of the avant-garde. For, having preferred coffee to tea in the morning, your guest is a civilised person, a most cultured being, able to deliver a discourse on the arts in its various aspects. You can be certain that your guest, having a preference for coffee in the morning, is well-versed in the history of art, from the abstract-looking cave-wall drawings of the prehistoric days to the pre-historic-looking canvases of todays abstract school. Or, if you are in the academic mood for a learned lecture on music, your guest is certainly in a position to oblige. Having stated his preference for coffee for his morning beverage, your guest is a cultured personage, and as such, an authority on music from the un-civilised tom-tom of the ancient African voodoo drums to the modern civilised beat of the Watusi. Youll never know how lucky you are playing host to a member of the beautiful set. Your honoured guest, having a liking for coffee and not tea in the morning, adores sculpture. He appreciates both the curiously shaped figurines of Africas earlier days and the formless figures of modern sculpture. Incidentally, do you know what your guest, the civilised man who drinks coffee in the morning, does to sculpture that doesnt belong to either of these two types? He smashes them with a two-pound hammer and probably calls his act public participation. Your guest, the coffee drinker, is definitely of a higher cultural level than those uncivilised people who drink tea in the mornings. He is a most civilised individual whose higher cultural level is reflected even in his method of winning his lady love. He doesnt hit his woman with a club to knock her off her feet and then snatches her away from her family to his cave dwelling in the manner of his stone age counterpart. No, your guest is too civilised for that sort of behaviour. Instead, he showers his woman with expensive gifts to sweep her off her feet and then whisks her away from her family to his pigeon hole of an apartment. By the way, I drink milk in the morning.
Posted on: Thu, 03 Apr 2014 09:39:21 +0000
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