Good morning family and friends. Today is Thursday, October 16, 2014. “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ― Dalai Lama XIV, The Art of Happiness It has only been recently that I have come to terms with asking God for favors regarding my health. I have been prompted by several people to ask for a miracle -- to pray to God for special consideration of his Will -- as I have been reluctant to do so. The word “hypocrite” would come to my mind as I would have that special request on the tip of my tongue. Who am I to ask for God’s favor -- me, a common sinner -- why should He consider my request in my hour of need when there were so many times during my life that He adorned me with His gifts without even a thank you on my tongue in response. Yes, the word “hypocrite” fits me to a T. How can I have the audacity to ask for favors ? So for all these months that I have known about my pancreatic cancer diagnosis, I never uttered the words, “Dear Lord, can you grant me a miracle – – a favor – – can you heal me?” However, a couple of Sundays back, I was listening to Joel Osteen on TV, and he was discussing this very subject. He said that God doesn’t work that way – – that you must ask and pray for help, special consideration, and /or miracles in order for God to respond -- that God treasures those moments when we humble ourselves and ask for His help. God knows that we are all sinners, but by acknowledging it and asking for forgiveness, strength and help during low points in our lives, we then face our realities and our shortcomings as we repent. Osteen remarked how God’s “simple” things like miracles should be asked for in order to be received. There was something about his sermon that touched my soul. It just seemed to make sense – – God is a forgiving God, and He is a kind God and His Will pervails. Asking for special considerations is not hypocritical to Him, but rather it is enlightening to Him when asked with the right disposition. So I humbled myself, and I have asked God if his Will could include more time for me to live on this earth. I got my answer on Tuesday. I reported to the University of Chicago on Tuesday, October 14 for a CT scan that had been moved up by one month due to the fact that I have been experiencing concerning symptoms. I have developed chronic pain in my back and my abdomen – – often times these are symptoms associated with pancreatic cancer. As a result, I have been put on 24-hour pain medication, which sometimes does not take away all of my symptomatic pain. It was no surprise that my oncologist decided to take an early CT scan to see if, indeed, my cancer was growing, all of which would mean that my chemotherapy was not being effective. I had myself prepared for the worst news. After all, I am now entering in to a new phase of my disease – – the pain-ridden phase. This does not look good… I will admit that for some reason I was less anxious about this CT scan result than I have been in the past. Usually, I get myself all worked up just with the thought of being told what the future will bring. But in my developing relationship with God, I am truly adjusting to my faith. It’s strange actually – – I never thought that because I am so very thankful for the last 16 months that have been granted me that I would accept being cut short in future months. But it’s true, I mostly express my gratitude to God for my past rather than what he may grant me for my future. Yet, I decided to go down the Osteen road and throw in a request not necessarily for a miracle but for any type of special recognition that He might see fit to grant me. God listened. He gave me that special recognition as my CT scan results came back with unexpected good news -- news that is gold to a pancreatic cancer patient – – news that my cancer has stayed exactly the same. It has not grown, it has not metasized to any other part of the body – its advancement has been halted for now. My oncologist admitted that my scan was “quite complicated” in that its images were deceiving -- that she had to consult with an expert radiologist to make sure of its interpretation. It seems that the tumor looked bigger but it was not due to the properties of cancer. It was due to the effects of the radiation treatment that I had on the tumor back in January. I had been advised when I was taking radiation treatment that this could happen, and that it could happen much later down the line. And it has. So the discomfort and pain that I am feeling in the abdominal area and in my back is due to swelling around the pancreas which is pressing against a specific vein. I am aesthetic with these results and know that God had a role in granting me more time on this earth. The power of prayer is once again in play. Dr. Kindler has suggested that I have a procedure performed as soon as possible to help alleviate the pain I am experiencing. This surgical procedure basically is putting a “block” on the pain in the pancreas area so that I don’t feel the nerve ending “firing” when compressed. I am going to have this procedure performed today, Thursday, October 16, as Dr. Kindler wants this finished before I resume my chemotherapy treatments next Tuesday. So back to UIC I go.. I would appreciate any prayers you might have handy to see me through this next procedure. As is well noted, the power of prayer is the best medicine a person can receive. I would be forever grateful. Wishing all of you a day filled with colorful, seasonal delights. Take a moment to notice all the brilliance around you. Love to all.. EXCERPT from “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young: “October 16: Look to Me continually for help, comfort and companionship. Because I am always by your side, the briefest glance can connect you with Me. When you look to Me for help, it flows freely from My Presence. This recognition of your need for Me, in small matters as well as in large ones, keeps you spiritually alive. When you need comfort, I love to enfold you in My arms. I enable you not only to feel comforted but also to be a channel through whom I comfort others. Thus you are doubly blessed, because a living channel absorbs some of whatever flows through it. My constant Companionship is the piece de resistance: the summit of salvation blessings. No matter what losses you experience in your life, no one can take away this glorious gift.”
Posted on: Thu, 16 Oct 2014 12:15:28 +0000
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