Good morning from the LIRR. Finger in nose guy is in my train car today... but too far away to get a good picture. I honestly do not understand how someone sleeps like that. Train is crawling along slowly this morning. We uh uhhhhhhhh apologize for the delay. How is it that these LIRR conductors all sound like Quagmire from Family Guy when they give you bad news? They should at least say Giggity giggity giggity at the end. It would be like Mary Poppins just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down antidote to an otherwise horrible thing. Good afternoon ladies and gentleman, this is your conductor Glenn Quagmire, uhhhhhhh were lookin bout a two and a half hour ride in to Penn today, uhhhhhhh. The temperature is twenty-nine degrees, uhhhhhhhhhh the train ride is gonna be a little longer than weve expected, uh weve got some ice on the rail, but the LIRR workers clearing that up are making headway... giggity. Why do people look at the eye gunk they pull out of the corner of their eye after they pick it out? I mean... we all know what that looks like, but people still look. On a personal level... I am not putting my finger in my eye while utilizing public transportation. Ew. I know ebola is yesterdays news but putting train bacteria deliberately in to my system via my eyeball is not on my list of to dos. (Insert John Travolta voice) I gots the ebola in my eye The gentleman next to me asked why I dont have an iPhone. I said I like my Samsung. He said... well... I buy American. Um.... I got nothing. At least nothing I can say out loud. Lets hold on the iPhone a second and address the fact he has not removed the made in Italy tag from his coat sleeve. Now.. I am aware my Samsung was made in a Galaxy far, far away (get it... lol) but you iPhone is assembled in China. Id say it could have come with a fortune cookie... but they actually do not eat them in China. Fortune cookies became common in Chinese restaurants in the USA after World War II. We love our deserts here in America, and they were an inexpensive solution to consumer demand. Confucius says Dont assume malice for what stupidity can explain. Have a supercalafragalisticexpialadoshus day!
Posted on: Wed, 21 Jan 2015 11:47:16 +0000
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