Group Input Needed: So heres a question for the group anonymously please: I was married to an N for 17 years (together 20). We met in high school. I wasnt the girl lots of guys wanted to date so my ex Ns attention win me over. We married right out of high school and started a family. It wasnt until about four years in that I started to see the real him. (In hindsight I saw it but made excuses for it I think). Anyway.. Every time I considered something was off, Id talk myself into thinking i just needed to live him harder, or better, or be different. I slowly lost who I was and just lives to not upset him (dont rock the boat). My whole life was walking on eggshells and trying to just follow his lead. If he was in a bad mood the whole house was. Anyway, I finally came to terms with reality four kids and 17 years later and filed for divorce. That was three years ago and so much stress and craziness. Life has settled down considerably with some crazy days sprinkles in. He re married six months after our divorce was final. She has recently filed for divorce but he is denying it (even though it was printed in the paper!) I did not remarry. I dated a little but never introduced my kids to anyone. I saw a guy for about six months and he really was great so one by one I introduced him to the kids. They all loved him! He loves them. So we dates openly for the last two years. We decided to build house and live together to save $ and since we were always all together anyway. Weve lives together for almost a year now... And since moving in... Things have changed. I feel like I am living with my ex N again. His mood dictates the whole houses mood. We walk on eggshells. He can be very sweet and giving too though. My kids really love him. I feel like I am repeating old mistakes and if I dont go I will slowly skip back to where I was with the ex. I am so worried about how this will look to the ex N, courts, and how my children will take it. They are 17,15, and 12. The rational side of me knows it will be best in the long run to run for the hills... But any advice from the battlefield or a kick in the pants would be welcome. I just feel stuck in a bad place and like Im damed either way. Thoughts? Be kind please. Thank you!
Posted on: Thu, 22 May 2014 01:23:24 +0000
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