Growing up I never really dated but it makes me happy to say Tyler was my very first boyfriend when I was 16 yrs old I remember the day he picked me up for our very first date at the Lonoke County Fair. My mom and I had went out to buy me a new outfit that day and it had rain that whole weekend and I had no shoes to match so we decided to spray paint my boots to go with my outfit. I remember having one of my friends come over right before to help me not be so nervous but the moment I saw Tyler all that pep talk went out the window. He came to my house and was just so calm and acted as if this wasn’t the first time we were going to be hanging out I remember thinking what are we going to talk about I hope this isn’t going to be awkward but as soon as we were in the car it was never silent Tyler was such a personable person and was just so fun to be around I knew that he was special from that very first car ride. When we got to the fair we decided to play those little shooting carnival games which I said and thought I was terrible at but apparently he was much worse seeing as though I beat him by a lot haha. That whole night Tyler was such a gentleman and kept me laughing the entire time and made me feel so special I really didn’t want that night to end. After the fair we got back in the truck to take me home at first he turned on the radio and he then turned it down and said ya know I know this sounds crazy to you probably but I really like you there is just something special about you Regan and I know we don’t know much about each other but I want you to be my girlfriend so will you? I guess that’s where I was suppose to respond but I was just in shock that he said he even liked me and although yeah a first date we didn’t really know each other but I was 16 and I really did like him there was just something about him that I knew was special. When I got home my mom was waiting on me and I told her about what he said and she was like uhh don’t ya think that’s a little fast and I thought yeah but it’s okay it’ll be fine. Well after a few months of being with Tyler I decided I just simply didn’t want a boyfriend we went to different schools we didn’t have the same friends I just found reason after reason as to why I just couldn’t be with Tyler and broke his heart through a text message I was that low of a person and until I got engaged he never let that go haha. But clearly there was a lot to take place in those years apart for us to grow up in many areas of our lives. The thing was even though Tyler and I were no longer together we still never lost contact somehow someway we would always manage to talk or run into each other. I remember a had graduated high school just recently and my parents and I were driving down the road and we were talking about random things in life and my mom said Regan I can see you marrying someone in the ministry and I said I’m going to marry Tyler Holsted I just know it. My parents were just like uhhh okay Regan seeing as though Tyler and I weren’t even together at the time so for them it was just a random thing to say. But in my heart I knew I wanted to be with Tyler . I remember the day Tyler told me he was joining masters and how he had recently rededicated his life and that he felt a call to the ministry and in my head I was like I KNEW IT I KNOW THIS IS FOR SURE who I am suppose to be with it’s going to be perfect. Of course I wouldn’t tell Tyler that because I didn’t want to sound crazy so as he began his first year of masters and during masters he really wasn’t allowed to talk to me so we lost contact for a bit and I begin my first year of college and I had a blast and in December I became really sick and was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and so my second semester I moved back home to be monitored and long story short I lost my scholarships because I was short on hours. But I was healed by God within a few months and I no longer have any symptoms. That summer of my freshman year Tyler and I had begin talking again and I knew that I wanted to be with him and he as well but he also knew that in his heart he needed to really grow more spiritually and in between that time something had happened between Tyler and I and it completely broke my heart and made me angry at him so for 7 months I cut ties with him. I now had started working at Pathfinder and really upset about my whole college situation and not truly understanding why life wasn’t going the way I wanted it to go. One night I had a dream about Tyler and I dreamed he was REALLY sick and that me and Mrs.Kary were taking care of him and in my dream I remember just wanting to be by his side 24/7. I woke up in tears and I called my best friend and told her about it and after that I just let it go and didn’t think anything about it. Around February of 2013 I got a phone call from Tyler and we had a long talk about everything that had happen with us and decided that not talking to each other just wasn’t going to work. Since that phone call there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t talk to Tyler. He wanted to wait till he finished his second year of masters before he considered dating again. But I guess it didn’t take him to long to consider after many dates we decided to be together again on June 28th. Life honestly seemed to fly by this past year I can’t begin to explain how happy I was to finally after all this time have Tyler back again and over the next year it was hard to have to share my time with him while he was finishing his last year of masters but at the same time I knew how much it meant to him and I knew that this is what I prayed for was for someone to be so passionate about Christ . On February 14th 2014 Tyler picked me up and took me to a place downtown and there was a horse and carriage waiting for us as we rode around in the freezing cold haha I could tell Tyler was so nervous and he begin to talk about how when we were first together when we were in high school and how he use to want the relationship I had with God and talked about how that night a lot of what I talked about was Christ and he said I am so thankful you broke my heart when you did I’m thankful for all the mistakes I had made I’m thankful that I was awakened by God when I was and that I could be somewhat of the person you deserve (although I thought he was more than enough) he talked about how thankful he was of the relationship we had that through the good and the bad I was always there and then finally Tyler pulled out a box and said would you make me the happiest I have ever been and marry me? I said yes yes yes and the rest you can see on the timeline on Facebook. That was the happiest day of my life I couldn’t stop smiling and whenever Tyler did something for me he always had so much heart and love behind it. He truly made me feel so special. Soon after we begin to try to start planning a wedding and when around and around in circles and finally settled on a date for June 6th,2015 6 weeks later after being engaged Tyler had recently been dealing with strep and I was at church and I got a phone call and got a text from him saying call me now I answered and he kept telling me he didn’t feel well and that he needed to drop off a computer to Hayden and asked if I would take him there and then to the ER so I called Mrs.Kary and after dropping the computer Tyler ended up having to be picked up by an ambulance in the best buy parking lot I honestly had no clue what was truly going on none of us did for about a week in a half when we were told Tyler’s body was in heart failure and a few weeks later we were told Tyler would need to have a heart transplant. Heartbroken and afraid I held it in as best as I could and for a few mins we sat in silence but then Tyler asked me how my day at work was and how I was doing he was always so selfless no matter how bad he was he always wanted to make sure I was okay. After the battle Tyler was fighting and many many many weeks of what all the family went through I one night remembered the dream I had I begin to weep in my bed asking God why and to this day I don’t have the reason as to why but I do know this I know the love Tyler and I had is eternal I know that although we weren’t legally married the vows that are spoken at weddings were spoken in actions daily in our lives. Life was hard for us in those last few months but we didn’t dwell on his sickness we really got to enjoy our time together and for that I’m forever FOREVER grateful. Letting go of Tyler on earth physically WAS NEVER AN OPTION in my book and it makes me angry but at the same time GOD PUT US TOGETHER I got to be with Tyler through it all and I’m only 21 if this is part of my story of our story I can’t imagine what else is going to happen over time. Tyler will ALWAYS forever and ALWAYS BE APART OF ME. He said on February 14th he saw what I had in Christ at 16 yrs old and wanted it but I saw what he had in Christ and I want that I want the hope and trust and peace Tyler had and I will fight and fight until I can no longer fight to have that. Tyler taught me so much in the time we had together and I just wish we had a bit more but until than day I get to see him again I’ll do what he wanted me to do and that’s to be happy with my life and do what I want and eventually I’ll be able to get back on that path I was headed until then I pray for peace and strength to get through.
Posted on: Sun, 03 Aug 2014 04:54:32 +0000
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