HAMPTONS HOUSE SHARE HELL: EPISODE 4 So were are almost at the house? and this cop? on a motorbike? pulls over in front? of us and then this convoy? of like SUVs? goes by and it is like all secret service? and stuff and it is so like the Clintons? or someone? but the cop won’t tell? us and Campbell? says it can’t be? cos they would take a helicopter? and anyway they go to Martha’s Vineyard? and I am all like what does he know? is he like secretly watching E? and he’s all just shut up? and then I get out of the car? and he’s like fine and drives off? and I have to walk to the house? and when I get there Campbell’s car is there? but he’s not? and on Saturday? Cliff hooks up with this girl? at Riggers and brings her back? cos we finally got the jacuzzi working? and her name is Whitney? and as soon as she gets in the Jacuzzi? she starts freaking out? and says like that her heart is stopping? and Cliff says she had been drinking jaeger spice mixed with Fernet? Branca? Menta? since like noon? so I like am outta there? and want to like just go to bed but Brinette? says she has to like talk to me? so we go to Sizzles? cos everyone else will be going to Riggers? and she like tells me all this stuff? but I’m not like listening? cos they are like totally playing all this great 80’s music? and I say like “oh that’s too bad” when she stops talking? and she looks at me? all weird? and says oh that’s too bad???? calls me a cow? and storms off and I’m like whatever? and then I see Campbell? talking with some skinny witch in a day glo micro mini? and she’s all over him? and he’s all like got his preppy charm attack? turned on? the collar of his polo turned up? and those stupid sailing shades? turned round on the back of his head? and I just want to vomit on him? so I go back to the house and dump the garbage? all over his car?
Posted on: Mon, 16 Jun 2014 14:51:10 +0000
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