HAS TRUE FRIENDSHIP BEEN LOST IN THE REALM OF SOCIAL MEDIA? As much as Davids life was one of tremendous conflict and adversity, it was characterized by deep friendships and relationships, which I am convinced the LORD established for a specific reason and purpose. This is first seen in the eighteenth chapter of First Samuel after David had defeated the Philistine champion Goliath, and had finished speaking with Saul. After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself...And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt. Though Davids life would be characterized by battle and warfare, there were also moments when it was characterized by deep and intimate friendships and relationships, which the LORD provided him. In this particular chapter, we learn that Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and that he loved him as himself. I have to admit that I have long been fascinated by the bond and love Jonathan and David shared with each other. I remember the very first time when their friendship and relationship first became real to me in my own life. I was a sophomore in college, and I was trying to discern and discover who the LORD would bring into my life not only as a friend, but as a brother in Christ. I found myself wanting to know those whose souls the LORD would knit together with mine in a tremendous bond of friendship and intimacy. Even as I am sitting here right now, I would dare say that in this generation, our perception and concept of friendship has become tainted by social media which exists among us. In an age when Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social media websites rule and control the lives of many, we have begun measuring our worth and our significance by how many friends we have on Facebook, or how many followers we have on Twitter or Instagram. I admit that there has been a few times when I have attempted to send friend requests to specific individuals, and was prohibited from doing so, because they had reached the maximum number of friends allowed. We live in a day and age when social media seems to define friendship with others, and where the internet has become the means of developing friendships and relationships with others--whether on a social level, or on a dating and personal level. So many of us define our worth and our significance by how many friends we have on our Facebook, or how many followers we have on Twitter, yet I cant help but wonder how many of us truly understand what friendship is. Friendship is more than who accepts your friend request on Facebook, and who agrees to keep you as their friend on such sites. I cant tell you how many times I have read post after post of those who openly admit to having too many friends on Facebook, and have too many people on Facebook who they dont talk to, or dont have a relationship with. I myself have a Facebook page, and I have friends on that page, but I can count on one hand the number of people who I can actually say I have a friendship with. By friendship, I mean a true, biblical definition of friendship. If you ask me, I would dare say that our friends list on Facebook, or our list of followers on Twitter and Instagram are such shallow examples of what true friendship really is. Oh, there might be those on your page with whom you truly have an intimate relationship and friendship with, and that is a wonderful reality. This applies to those within the house of God, as well as those outside who have managed to develop deep and personal friendships. When I read the account of David and Jonathan, I am challenged with the reality of what true, biblical, personal. spiritual friendship is in my own life. I must admit that there is a great desire in my heart to have such deep and abiding relationships in my own life. I will admit that I spend a lot of time by myself, and that I have spent a lot of time isolating myself from others. There was a time in my life when I felt that it was nothing more than a revolving door--people would exit my life as quickly as they would enter. Over the past eight years, I have watched friendships and relationships deteriorate in my life, to the point where if I am truly honest with myself, and with the LORD, I must acknowledge that I dont have any. I am at a point in my life right now where though I realize my incredible need for biblical and sustained friendship, my life is void of such realities. Please understand that this isnt to say that I have no desire for such friendships or relationships in my life, for that simply is not the case. I will admit that I am a product of what has taken place in my life, and that I have deep trust issues, which prevents me from truly opening up to others on a deep, on a personal, and an intimate level. I bear within my heart and soul scars, wounds and bruises that have been left there by relationships that seemed to have imploded or vanished into thin air. When I read the account of David and Jonathan in this particular chapter, I am challenged by the type of friendship I desire in my life, as well as the type of friend and brother I desire to be for others. In an attempt to be open, honest and vulnerable, I will admit that there are two tremendous desires within my heart. The first is to have a Paul in my life whom I can become a spiritual son to as Timothy was; but also, to find a Timothy in my life whom I can be a Paul to--whom I can pour into, mentor, and disciple. The second desire is to find a Jonathan in my life whom I can have a deep, personal and intimate friendship with as David did. One of the greatest challenges we face when considering the account of David and Jonathan, is that we desire the presence of a Jonathan in our lives, yet we are never willing to be a Jonathan ourselves. In this culture and society that is saturated and inundated with social media websites, I am convinced that we have become out of touch and out of tune with what true friendship really is. Many of us use social media to define friendship in our lives, and I cant help but see how warped and twisted this is. I remember when MySpace was still popular, and how you could actually arrange your list of top friends--those whom you deemed of great importance in your life. I myself got caught up in such a reality, and created my own list of friends who were at the top of the list. What I fear, however, is that we have allowed social media to define friendship rather than the Bible. In the book of Proverbs we learn that a friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. In the twenty-fourth verse of the eighteenth chapter of Proverbs, we read that a man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. In the sixth verse of the twenty-seventh chapter of Provers, we read that faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. In the twenty-seventh chapter we find that Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. One of the most important questions we must ask ourselves when considering this concept of biblical friendship is whether or not we truly desire a friendship such as David and Jonathan had. Are we truly willing to love another as ourselves? Isnt this what Jesus declared was the second greatest commandment--to love your neighbor as yourself? Are we willing to allow our hearts and our souls to be knit together with others? Are we willing to open ourselves up to deep, personal, intimate and biblical friendship with others? Are we willing to be a friend who loves at all times? Are we willing to be a brother who is born for adversity? Are we willing to show ourself friendly, and stick closer than a brother? Are we willing to sharpen the countenance of our friends as iron sharpens iron? When considering the friendship and relationship David and Jonathan had, the first few verses of the nineteenth chapter must be considered, for Jonathan truly was a brother who was born for adversity. Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David. But Jonathan had taken a great liking to David, and warned him, My father Saul is looking for a chance to kill you. Be on your guard tomorrow morning; go into hiding and stay there. I will go out and stand with my father in the field where you are. Ill speak to him about you and will tell you what I find out. Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, Let not the king do wrong to his servant David; he has not wronged you, and what he has done has benefited you greatly. He took his life in his hands when he killed the Philistine. The LORD won a great victory for all Israel, and you saw it and were glad. Why then would you do wrong to an innocent man like David by killing him for no reason? This is but one of the examples of Jonathans unwavering loyalty and commitment to David in the midst of the adversity and distress he faced because of his fathers hatred toward him. Whats more, is that when you read the eighteenth and nineteenth chapters of the book of First Samuel, you will not only read how David and Jonathan become one in spirit and heart with each other, but also how the LORD provided for David others who would support him in the midst of the circumstances he faced. Michal, his wife, who was also Sauls daughter, helped David escape from the attempt on his life by her father. When David fled that night, he fled to the place where Samuel was, and told Samuel all that Saul had done. The entire twentieth chapter of the book of First Samuel is about the great loyalty and devotion Jonathan displayed toward David, for he was willing to warn David about his fathers desire to kill him. The words oath and covenant were used in this chapter, which help to reaffirm all the more the type of relationship and friendship the two of them had with each other. How close are we willing to stand with others when they face trials and troubles of all kinds? How close are we willing to stand with those in the midst of the adversity and conflict they face? Are we as the people of God willing to enter into covenant with others during times of great anxiety, fear, doubt, worry, and the like? Are we willing to pledge our loyalty and devotion to others, despite the circumstances they face? Jonathan was willing to help David, even at the expense of his own life--a reality that was proven when his father attempted to kill him by hurling his spear at him. There is a beautiful reference in the forty-second verse of the twentieth chapter concerning the friendship which these two men shared with each other: Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever. I fear that this type of commitment and devotion is sorely lacking and is misplaced in the society and generation in which we live. I fear that we have lost sight of the reality of covenant and commitment in the realm of friendship. When you examine your list of friends on Facebook, and your followers on Twitter and Instagram, are you willing to proclaim such an oath of loyalty and dedication to them? How many of your friends would you place yourself between them and adversity and opposition? Jonathan was willing to place himself between his fathers hatred, anger and jealousy, and David--a reality which I fear many of us can not say the same about. If you continue to read this particular section of First Samuel, you will find David leaving Gath and escaping to the Cave of Adullam. When his brothers and his fathers household heard about it, they went down to him there. All those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their commander. About four-hundred men were with him. What a tremendous reality is present in this chapter, for not only had the LORD given him a wonderful friendship with Jonathan, but now the LORD had surrounded David with four-hundred men, which included his brothers and his fathers household. Not only this, but it seemed the LORD Himself brought men to David there at that cave of Adullam in order to give him the strength and support he needed. Later on, we find that while David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come to take his life. Jonathan went to David at Horseh and helped him find strength in God. Not only did the LORD surround David with four-hundred men, but he also brought Jonathan to him in order that he might help him find strength in God. Both of these examples help reveal how desperately we need others in our lives, and how we cannot attempt to live this life by ourselves. How many of us attempt to go through this life alone and isolated, afraid or unwilling to allow others to be a part of it? One of the greatest realities about David in this section is his willingness to allow others into his life--even in the midst of the adversity he faced. David recognized and understood the importance of friendship, and of support and encouragement, and as a result, was willing to allow others into his uncertainty, into his doubt, into his fears, into his pain, into his suffering, and the like. Oh, are you willing to allow others into the midst of your brokenness? Are you willing to allow others into your pain? Are you willing to allow others into your doubt and anxiety? These questions and many more must not only be asked, but must also be answered if we are to experience true and genuine friendship at a spiritual and biblical level. Moreover, are we willing to open ourselves up to be such a friend and brother (or sister) when others find themselves in such places in their lives? It is not enough to desire and crave this for ourselves, for we must be willing to do the same for those who are in need of it. OH that the Spirit of the LORD would open our eyes and awaken our hearts to our need for biblical and spiritual friendship, and that He would bring us to the place where we are willing to offer and provide such a reality to others.
Posted on: Thu, 20 Mar 2014 18:28:29 +0000
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