HE HAS WRITTEN TO THE PARLIAMENT –FOR OUR ADVICE… I am from the South East, based in Lagos and I am 35years old. I am a businessman with interest in Dangote products as a key distributor, Nestle products as a key distributor, oil and gas sector, haulage and logistic services, property, hotelier, import and export on general goods. This is my story…I met a lady during my final year in the University. We became friends and later lovers but shortly after I left school and went for NYSC, things became difficult for me and she left me and moved on with her life , we were apart for 5-6yrs only for her to come back in 2009, we started from where we stopped in school, things went on fine though with challenges (like quarrelling almost every day, lies from her own part, extorting money from me, stealing money from me and heaping a pregnancy(that’s not mine) on me, but in all these- I still forgave her and loved her even with the pregnancy. We got married in 2011 and the marriage lasted for only six days because of irreconcilable differences and the fact that she was married before and never mentioned it to me. She parked out of my house when the bubble busted on the sixth day (after our wedding), stealing my money and throwing our wedding rings into the dust bin. She put to bed two months later (she only called me 10days later because she was unable to pay the hospital bills).I willingly offset the bill, paid her a visit and gave her 500k for the baby’s upkeep, she named baby and baptized the baby without my knowledge, the baby bears her father’s name and none of my family members was informed about the baby. Well, I went to court to seek divorce, the case has been on for about two years now .I have also been to the catholic church marriage tribunal because we wedded in the church and we are both Catholics – the church said that I was never married because I married somebody else’s wife, so now, I am in court to divorce her. I have paid her 2miilion naira which was part of her demand in her granting me the divorce, the other issue now is the property she is asking from me. My problem now is that I met another lady (23years old) almost 21 months now, she was in school when I met her and now she is doing her houseman ship, we have been dating since then but her people (especially her mum) dislike the relationship, they claimed that I had not come to make my intention known to them and that is because of my pending court case. Finally, we went to see her mum (who is a University Prof) and the mum told me point black that her daughter cannot marry me; she said lots of things also. I actually hid my true identity (my financial worth) from the woman. I told my girl and her people that I work in a company where I am being paid 120k a month and her mum made it clear that she is interested in one’s ‘status and class’- which she felt I lack. The girl in question is not materialistic, she is a good girl but her mum is just the problem, saying that I was married before and I don’t even have money...now the girl is pregnant (about a month gone).One of her mum’s friends (who is sympathetic to us-also a university Prof) has been working on my girl’s mum and she seemed to be soft pedaling. But she called me recently- asking that I give her my details(where I come from, where I work ,the copies of the court case etc.) and the details of my ex- so that she will make her own enquiries. Just yesterday, she asked for my ex’s phone number, claiming that she wants to talk to her .She also told her daughter that she will only give her consent when I get my divorce from the court and bring the ‘court papers’ to her, alongside the report of the church tribunal- if not, the daughter should be ready to put to bed in her own home. The issue now is that I do not want the baby to be had outside wedlock- considering my catholic background and marrying my girl (properly)before she puts to bed will also ensure that the baby is legally mine(according to Igbo tradition). I know too well that I can go ahead with paying of the bride price and the traditional marriage rites (even without the court judgment) but her mum refused. I do not know what else to do. Please ADVISE me. The first comment from Oby is the sms that the woman sent her daughter last night. The girl has been forwarding such text messages from the mother to me. The woman even complained about my weight (claiming that I am liable to die young due to excessive weight-she then asked the daughter if she wants to be a young widow) and the age difference between us-to her daughter. My girl’s dad is late. We are all from the South East-including my ex.
Posted on: Wed, 02 Oct 2013 19:54:39 +0000
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