HEADED FOR ANGUISH & REGRET? Raising Sons, Part 4 dklegs.wordpress/2014/11/28/headed-for-anguish-regret-raising-sons-part-4/ For years now, I’ve had the privilege of being a part of a prized ministry among Business and Professional Men. Annually, toward the end of winter, men from all over Asia and the USA would gather in a Lake Tahoe Resort, on the California side. One of the highlights of that conference was an open time at the end where the men could share whatever was in their hearts. And over the years I heard story after story of heartbreak, of years with family and loved ones lost. Some of the men were at the very apex of their careers.. CEO’s, captains of industry. Many came from the biggest Fortune 500 companies. Some had even been featured in Forbes and other similar media. The thread through their stories was heartfelt anguish and regret. Many said they would gladly give up what they had fought so hard and ruthlessly for, give up accolades and honors earned, if only they could have their kids and families back. One of the men I served with spent serious money to bring his pre-teen and teenage sons to these conferences year after year, just to hear those stories. When I asked him why, this was his answer.. You cannot pay enough for these real life lessons. These boys will all come into their own with graphic pictures in their hearts of trade-offs that should never have been made, of heartbreak and terrible trouble reaped. Below you’ll find Dwight thinking back to two vignettes that typify some of those stories. ON BEING A DAD. TWO APPROACHES.. Yesterday I had coffee with a dad who excitedly told me his son was flying home from college that night to join the family for vacation. Struck by his sense of anticipation and what obviously was an unusual “bond” between father and son, I quarried him as to how this friendship “happened.” He proceeded to relate how every night for 21 years he had put his son to bed, kissing and affirming him, praying with him, and talking things over, etc.. He said if his boy came in late at night, he would make an effort to stay up and meet him at the door, chat with him for a little while before they both retired for the night. Then, in the morning, he would go into his son’s room and spend a few minutes with him as he started his day. He said.. “The last 10 minutes of the day and the first 10 minutes in the morning are the most important in raising your kids,” he said with deep conviction. Today, this young man strongly embraces the family’s values, is doing well in school, and, along with his parents, is a sincere follower of Christ. As I was thinking about this remarkable father-son relationship, I recalled another conversation I recently had with another Dad, who by contrast was ruing his estranged relationship with his 21 year old son. Years ago, when his offspring was but a lad, he had “neglected” him for his career. Anguished, he spoke of his son’s intense contempt for him. He added how this young man was now punishing him by pursuing a defiant lifestyle that includes a live-in girlfriend, and a casual approach to work and career, etc., etc. QUESTION.. As a father, what practical, thought-out, and consistent steps are you taking to insure the fact that you and your children are developing a healthy, inseparable bond? We often quote Proverbs 22:6 as a guarantee that our children will turn out “right”. Surely a concerted effort at bonding would help insure the fulfillment of this verse of Scripture.. “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
Posted on: Fri, 28 Nov 2014 04:06:25 +0000
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