HEAVY CONFESSIONS - Heavy Showers Many things in life we big guys can retro-fit to our liking, but theres one area we simply cant seem escape. We could try, but given our affinity for sweating and emitting bodily odors, no one would appreciate it. We must shower. Youve guessed the struggle by now and, no, its not the lack of coconut scented shampoos; its short shower heads. We already rotate our bodies in shifts to get clean, is it too much to ask for shower heads that reach higher than our armpits? Ill never forget my first trip to Scotland. It was 2007 and I was part of Team USA in the USA vs. Scotland competition that pitted both nations top amateur Highland Games throwers. Suffice to say, the five of us stuck out like sore thumbs. The twangy accents, shorts in 40 degree weather and double meat demands to Subway sandwich artists were enough to put international relations on thin ice. To the Scottish, Im sure we looked like a family of Sasquatches wearing Willie Nelson American flag bandanas; at least thats how they stared at us. I stayed at a Bed and Breakfast that, while the breakfast was big, the other amenities were not. This was never more evident than when I took a shower. I was sure my host feared a collapse of the second floor bathroom as I folded myself into the tiny shower. With my body pressed against all four corners of the space, I turned on the water and instantly noticed I was in big trouble (not counting the inability to close the curtain). The shower head was at an ideal height … for either a 411 man or someone with cornrows who cant get their hair wet. News flash: Im neither. So, how can we remedy this? Aside from a massive remodeling effort or showering on your knees, theres not much. Heres a few thoughts for both parties. Guys of Girth: Not that you can always do this, but when possible, be selective of your shower choices. Rainfall shower heads are an amazing option. Locker rooms usually have high shower heads, too … who am I fooling? You better just stick with jacuzzis and saltwater pools. People of Less Girth: When hosting a Guy of Girth, pamper him; give him a shower care package. This should include: soap, shampoo, loofah, large towel … scratch that. Two large towels. And, if youve got a low reaching shower head, pack him a large plastic cup so he can do a one man bucket brigade to wash his hair. Believe me, youll be glad you did.
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 12:08:55 +0000
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