HOW OPEN SHOULD ONE BE IN MARRIAGE ? I am going to start by saying that I am a christian who believes in the principle of "two becoming one" in marriage. But I have been asking myself of late on the necessity to be very open in a relationship and marriage. So I am asking for matured inputs and advice please. I was raised up in a home where my parents are very open to each other. I mean 100 percent open. Same applies to my partner who reminds me so much of my dad in this regard embarassed. While it could take a lot of whining to get me to talk, he is very open. He hides nothing and I have the passwords to his email, access to his phone et al. His principle is that anything anyone does not want my wife to know, do not bother telling me because I believe in oneness (we are still engaged though). My issue is this, there are somethings that I believe should not be revealed or in its entirety for the sake of preserving relationships. For example, before my parents gave their consent to our union, they voiced some concerns which were normal. I could not go on and tell him everything because the truth is that I know it may affect his relationship with them in the future even though from my point of view and that of my siblings, it is not easy giving out your last child without reservations. But now they have wholeheartedly accepted him. I remember when my brother was getting married, his wife too who believes in "I must tell my husband everything" was always telling him all what her parents were saying. Even during the wedding preparations which we know always causes a percentage of friction between the two families, she told him everything eg "mummy said I should not always discuss everything with you, I should have a secret account, how can she say a thing like that" etc. Everyone was praising her in my family that the girl knows how to marry, she adores my brother and tells him everything but at the long run, I have noticed the way my brother has changed towards his inlaws unlike how it was initially. This is natural with or without his planning it. But her relationship with her parents is still intact. The truth is that blood is thick and no matter what my mum says or does to me that is seemingly so hurting, by the next day or two, I would have forgotten but this does not apply to people who do not have a blood relationship. This is just an example though, so I am asking, are there times when one is supposed to shut up and filter information from ones spouse or should it be a case of 100 percent openness and honesty?
Posted on: Wed, 31 Jul 2013 17:31:39 +0000
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015