HOW TO BUILD A MEGACHURCH IN 30 DAYS Gods building a church here of 1,000 people! exclaims the pastor struggling to keep 50 people in the Sunday pews. I once visited another church with three people including myself and the pastor. That night, he took me to a lot he had purchased for his church of a thousand. He said he had a dream where he was preaching to every single person in the world. His family got the building built, but it is still waiting on the thousand. So whether driven by a late-in-life mental condition or just an inflated ego, these fellows need help. So to help all these inspiring Joel Osteen wannabees, Ive accumulated an inventory of church growth methods sure to do the trick. Lincoln said Stephen Douglas reminded him of An old steamboat that plied on the Sangamon River, the boiler of which was so small that when they blew the whistle, there wasnt enough steam to turn the paddle wheel. When the paddle wheel went around, they couldnt blow the whistle. Some preachers dont have enough boiler to blow their whistle without stopping dead in the water. There is this paradox in pride, said Charles Colton, it makes some men ridiculous, but prevents others from becoming so. Here are some tips: Preach them in. Some preachers think their preaching is so good, all they have to do is rent a building and their preaching will attract the throngs, regardless of all the other things needed to build a church. Did you hear about the preacher so conceited, that when the deacon said, Nobodys perfect, the preacher sued him for slander? Few churches are built simply on good preaching. A good number are built on psycho-babble and feel-good pep talks. But it takes skill to impart the Word of God in a way that is as enticing as the Holy Spirit intended. Sometimes we confuse presenting Christ with presenting ourselves. Revamp your music. You need modern music to build a church. If it is new it is good. If it is old, it is bad. You might try songs written to Jewish tunes, or those 7/11 songs, (seven words, eleven times over.) Im sure you can tune in your favorite TV preachers. They hear from God the most and are sure to have the most anointed songs. Then you need a band. Dumping the piano is sure to attract a few hundred. Sometimes you have to hire a musician without regard to his character. One tent preacher I knew needed the A.A. Allen black organist style of revivalist music. So he hired an organist straight out of a bar. Remember, the end justifies the means. One pastor kept a musician with a recent police record for immoral behavior. Its easier to deny police reports when you want the affect of a good music program. Why, we ought to be up to a few hundred already. Drop Sunday School. Since it is old; it is outdated. It must be bad because Charismatic churches dont have them! Teaching the Word of God is not as important as having a Hallelujah Breakdown in the sanctuary anyway. Your people can get their worldview from Oprah and Ellen. Your children can learn about God from somewhere else. Since Sunday School is boring, dont question the lack of leadership on your part or the depth of dedication on the part of the teachers, just blame Sunday School. Trash the pews. Pews are probably unbiblical if you look hard enough. Everyone knows your church isnt growing because your church is too reminiscent of old churches. I wouldnt be surprised to see church seating coming with a person pre-packed in the boxes. Also, you might try to set up your seats by faith, theyll be filled. Buy yourself a fiberglass podium. Youll look good behind it. One magical tool of church growth is the see-through podium. Seeing through a glass darkly might be a twisted justification for spending a grand en an updated podium. Its sure to be worth a few hundred more people in the pew. Wear one of those new head-piece microphones. That demonstrates that you are truly up-to-date. You have to have a video projector. If you really want to solve the problems in your church, get one. Thats worth a few hundred folks, too. You might try folding your Bible double and walking around through the audience like a lot of the big preachers do. Thats to show your gift at anointed preaching. Call yourself an apostle. Sometimes when others dont recognize your special manifestation, you have to encourage them by taking the first step. Come up with some distinctives. Otherwise, why should people leave their old church if you dont have more of God than their pastor? One of the great evangelists was asked by a reporter, Why do you sling your coat and thousands of people fall down? He said, If 25,000 people come to your meeting looking for the spectacular, you have to give it to them. Maybe taking a lesson from the laughing preacher will help. God seems to have tired of that fad, but there are plenty more out there. (Is it funny how the eternal God can only stick to religious fads for about 10 years or is it sad we reduce the Holy Spirit to frivolous tricks and gimmickry?) The great circus-man P.T. Barnham said, Theres a sucker born every minute. Being the leader of a growing church is sort of like being a circus barker. Your task is to stir the imagination so that prospects will step into your tent. Like the tent evangelists of past decades, you might wear a white suit. Subconsciously, that makes you appear more holy. The problem with some preachers is that their substance doesnt rise to the stature of their ego. Often, when you see two preachers together, its a case of an I for and I. The best thing about some preachers is they dont talk about other preachers much. Theyre too busy talking about themselves. All preachers have pride. The challenge is to channel that into productive ways to serve God better. I know of several preachers who took a church and initiated some of the above ideas. Their ideas overshadowed their dismal people skills. Often, they were copying someone elses ideas, yet lacked their idols skills to implement the ideas. What resulted in each instance was an immeasurable amount of hurt and financial loss. No, you wont have a megachurch in thirty days and probably not in your lifetime. How much better to build a church through the things which matter most. All of the above tricks or even helpful tactics are extra-Biblical. They are not mandated in Scripture. Using modern techniques which can enhance, yet not replace the mandates of Scripture is important. Well want to consider any method which helps get the Gospel out. But no amount of new-fangled gimmicks can compensate for innate weaknesses in a church. A new or larger building cannot cure a churchs woes. It fixes no problems other than to release potential. The trappings of religiosity are no more than window dressing. What a church must be about is the integrity of the Word, balanced preaching, a compassion for the lost, a desire to do what is good for the people first, developing disciples, appropriate and exciting worship, and building a congregation which yearns for holiness. In setting goals for a church, one would think it would be good to emulate the Founder more than His many followers. A principle in the building trades, metal trades, or anything doing with repetitive tasks is to copy the original. For instance, if you need twenty boards cut the same length, it is far better to use your original piece as the pattern. If you cut the second board and use that as the pattern for the third until the 19th board is the pattern for the 20th and youre 1/16 inch off each time, your 20th board will be an inch and a quarter off. But using the original will assure all 20 boards are the same length. By copying Christ rather than His followers, well be much less likely to end up with a distorted ministry. Christ came to seek and to save. That was His top priority and so it must be ours. Secondly, He longs for our fellowship. So our own discipleship (which includes holiness, Biblical learning, spiritual power and growth, prayer and worship) comes as preparatory work before we are able to do Christs top priority. Such is His goals for converts. Unless we are properly discipling those new believers, His plan for their lives will be defeated. So, the test of valid spiritual goals for a church would demonstrate that most churches, particularly the seeker-sensitive churches are missing the point. To them, whatever gets the people into the building is good for them. Yes, preachers are funny. Among their numbers are the worst elements of society, and more likely, they include the very best of human personalities. The difference between manipulation and motivation is one of personal motive. The antics range among hilarious, stellar in ingenuity, unconscionable in ethics, experienced and balanced, or immature. Their promises have ranged from preaching from the church roof if attendance meets a goal to raising the dead. Yet, when we take on the attributes of Christ on a human level, seeking only the good of Christ and to benefit His people, His work is more likely to be accomplished through us. His goal for our ministry has much more to do with individuals than masses. Nearly all of His earthly interaction was with individuals and small groups. Ministry to the masses was a very small fraction of His ministry. Lets not get the cart before the horse and think crowds before individuals. Thats how He did it and that must be His design for His church. After all, it is His church, not ours. The Pentecostal Leader, March/April, 2008
Posted on: Mon, 17 Mar 2014 11:31:29 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015