HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW THAT ‘EX’? A VICTIM SHARES HER STORY…ADVICE NEEDED TOO. ‘’I dated this guy (X) for one year + ago; I dated him at a depressing period of my life. Anyway when I got back my senses (partially) I called it off. He called several times to apologize but I told him not to ever call me again. Few Months later, I met this other guy and started another romance. Mr X started calling again and told me he was getting married and wanted to apologize to all the girls he’d hurt, but I laughed it off telling him, he was joking and if he’s the man I know, that he’s so not ready for marriage. Anyways, months later, I saw his traditional wedding pictures on Facebook. The lady looked Pregnant, so I concluded he was forced to marry her because of her condition. Meanwhile my own relationship, was sweet and sour in the sense that I was enjoying the companionship, but was parting with money (loaned to him) which he hasn’t paid till now. Down the line, I started having strong doubts about him but I stayed on because of many reasons (fear of loneliness majorly). X called me one day and was inquiring if I was dating Y. I denied but the next time he called and claimed he has a strong feeling I’m dating Y, I told him I was ‘sort of’ and if he knew him well. He said He would tell me later. He came to my house later and I asked him how well he knew Y, he told me not well and advised me to take Y seriously, so that I could settle down. That I always doubted him when he told me he was going to marry me. I smiled in my heart, because, I never saw him as a father to my future Kids. In that conversation, he portrayed himself as a happily Married man and I was happy for him. I didn’t tell him anything about what was really going on in my relationship though. Last month, Y used my phone to call a supposed patient (He’s a doctor) and deleted the number afterwards, something I found suspicious, so I traced the number and found it to be that of a lady he claimed was his cousin (they answer the same surname), although some of the conversations they had on Facebook (two years ago) was too intimate to be brother/sister gist. I activated my FBI mode and did my investigations and my findings really got me heartbroken. So I called my ex (X) and was like ‘’see the guy you asked me to take serious, see what he’s done to me’’. My reason for calling him was because of my emotional state then, I won’t have minded if Y was waylaid and beaten- seriously dealt with and made to return my Money, but Mr X suggested I played cool and calm. So I took my time to think through things, so my money doesn’t go down the drain. Mr X called a couple of times to check up on me came to my house once to play adviser. But after some time, his calls were sounding sad and full of regrets. And I asked (as a friend) if he was ok and he said when he sees me, he would tell me. So on this fateful Friday, 22-11-2013 around 6pm, he called to know where I was. I told him I was heading to a friend’s house to pay condolence visit in Yaba. He said he was around the area and we agreed to see after we were done. So around 9pm, he called and came to pick me up at the friend’s gate. So in the car, I asked him where we were going to sit and talk. He said a friend of his came in from Germany and he wanted to go see him in Ikeja. I asked how long he was spending and he said, it was just to say hi. So in the car I tried to initiate a conversation but he said he couldn’t talk about it while driving because it would depress him. With his friends (two of them) we started gisting and I began to enjoy the conversation, the friends were highly exposed and well-travelled. Although all thorough, I reminded him that I needed to go home, He kept promising that he would take me home after all, he always took me home when we dated. Around Past 11pm, one of the friends left, few minutes later we got ready to go, but the friend from Germany suggested we went to Rhapsody (a bar at ShopRite) which was in the next premises. Mr X said we were not going to waste time there, I obliged and I liked the place. Mr X was acting ultra-nice and kept insisting that I order whatever I wanted. Told him I was fine, but later requested a subtle drink from the barman. I mostly chatted with the friend and we did some dancing to some old-school beats. Around Past one, the friend suggested we went some other club, (He missed Nigeria and wanted to catch all the fun he could), I bought the idea reluctantly, but after due consideration, I told them I’d rather go home. So X took me on my journey home. When I tried starting a conversation, asking him about his wedding ring, he put the blame on me for leaving him in the first place, claimed that that’s why he was where he is. I laughed and told him there never would be an “us”. On the way, He suddenly asked if I liked his friend (The one from Germany-he’s married to a whitey), I was taken unawares by the question, but I was like yes, I think he is a fun and interesting Guy. When the questions became too possessive, I told him, I actually didn’t owe him any explanations as to if I liked the friend or not or wanted to do his friend or not. All this happened around ‘Iyanaoworo’ express way from Ikeja. It was during this argument he missed my turn while trying to avoid an accident because he had his eyes away from the road and staring at me with hate. I pleaded with him to take the one way so as to avoid us getting on the 3rd Mainland Bridge (I’ve had an experience with him on that bridge before and he knows the bridge frightens me). I threatened to jump down but he increased his speed and said he was going to use one of the flyovers to make a U-turn. The questions still continue and I became irritated and tried to make him understand that I was not his girlfriend or wife, So I owed him no explanation. He asked why I never danced with him in the bar, and I told him, it was because he couldn’t dance. Asked him to take me to obalende, where I believed I would find a cab to take me home. He made the U-turn in a silent mode. And got to the other side of the mainland bridge, then he said he was taking me back to his friend at Ikeja. I asked why he would do that, reminded him that he has to take me back home-the way he took me there. Then I received a thunderous slap on my face. I was shocked and demanded the reason he did that. Made an attempt to open the door and jump out but he forcefully hit me on my back. Slapped me several times (more) till I realized that I couldn’t win with a ‘super woman’ attitude. So I started to beg that I was sorry for dancing with the friend, and I didn’t really fancy the friend at all, besides he’s married. All these were in the middle of the bridge approaching Unilag. He drove very slowly, and when he noticed a car approaching, he increased his pace a little. Then he told me I had to give him a blow Job, I refused but the slaps followed, then I tried to convince him to take me home, so we would go the whole way, he refused. I agreed (to his demand) because he even threated to throw me into the Lagoon and no one would know. I agreed to give him the blow job; I had put my mouth over his organ when he told me to take off my jeans and pants. I hesitated a long time, trying to take the jeans down, all the while I was pleading that he take me closer to iyana oworo . While taking off the jeans, I was able to open the door lock unnoticed. So I took off the Jeans and Pant and he tried to finger me, but apparently, he wasn’t positioned well for that chore, so when he made an attempt to adjust his seat, I ran out of the car half-clad and tried to flag down a passing vehicle. The vehicle was on top speed and only came to a halt way ahead, but X threw out my bag and zoomed off. The car in front zoomed off too. I found a cloth on the bridge which I wore on my waist and jogged the distance, till I saw a car with parking light…thinking he was the one, I climbed the divider( Median barrier) and walked on it. But getting closer, I noticed it was a police vehicle and the person stopped because he saw me on the bridge. He took me home and dropped his number in case I wanted to follow up on the issue. X brought my jeans and phone to my house, called at my room window, but I didn’t answer. He apologized saying, he knew I was there. He dropped my belongings without the shoes with my Flat mate. This was around to 5am. I didn’t think it was wise reporting to the police because I didn’t want to be harassed later for landing someone in jail. Put a friend insisted I went to the police. So the Helper took me to the Police station at Estate Alakpere, but after narrating my story, they told me to go to the Station at Iyana oworo to lay my complaint since the 3rd mainland bridge didn’t fall under their jurisdiction. So I went to the station and reported, then they asked me want I wanted them to do. I told them I came because, I didn’t want him to do the same thing to another lady, and that I really don’t want him arrested but seriously cautioned. They asked me if I knew his house, and I told them I didn’t, but I know where his elder brother stays, he stayed with him before he got married. So they asked if I had his phone number I said yes. I asked if I could reach out to him to report himself to the police and get a milder treatment, they said it was ok. So I called with my phone, and gave it to them, He answered but hearing a man’s voice he dropped the call and didn’t pick up again. So the police told me I had to get his address so they could pick him up from there. They suggested I went to the elder brother to get it. So on Sunday, I went to the elder brother’s house. I told him I needed the address of his younger brother and he was like “what for?”, so I told him what happened. He tried blaming me for hanging out with my Ex that it was a stupid thing to do. Threatened that he has some connections that could render all my efforts null. He called the younger brother to come over and then asked me to narrate the story again, the younger brother said I was right and that he was under the influence. He told the younger brother to excuse us and thereafter, pleaded with me not to involve the police, talked about the hypertensive health of their parents, the money they would spend, and that the police would not just warn him, but will throw him into jail and that would ruin him. I told him, I had to think about it, but I needed him to learn a lesson so he never does it again to any woman. He promised to discipline his younger brother, but that the police should not be involved. I told him I had already gone to the police, but he said if I don’t follow it up, the police would forget about it. I told him, I would think about it and get back to him. I’m still thinking and I really don’t want him to go to jail, but I want to do the right thing. BTW I contacted a Female activist who handles stuffs like this. I dated this guy (X) for one year plus. Im 29, both guys are 30’’
Posted on: Thu, 05 Dec 2013 03:44:30 +0000
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