Had a good cry today, after having a friend express some of her personal thoughts, and it felt like the first time EVER that someone could understand how my heart feels. I know being adopted makes me lucky, forunate, blessed, whatever you want to call it, and I was raised in a good home, where I didnt lack anything, not things or love, or attention. I got it all!! but, for me it has also triggered those innermost feelings if being unlovable, unwanted, cast off. She spoke like she knew my heart, more than anyone has ever before. I cried it out, but I also feel amazing that someone else gets it!! I am truly grateful for my family both adopted, and my birth family. But no amount of love ever really fixes that empty feeling that comes from being separated from that heartbeat you heard while inutero. Yes humans are resilliant, and cope well. But its there. And I think I can better process it after today, knowing someone else gets me.. I try really hard to do for others and serve others and she voiced this of her too, and how she wonders if she does it because its who she is or because she hopes people will accept her. ( THATS HOW I FEEL) never had anyone put it into words for me before.. I hate being adopted, but I get two terrific families, please my sweet friends who are parents because of adoption, dont be saddened by my feelings, I adore each of you. And your trials are not mine, you are great people who I admire.. So nothing personal to you here, just my little lightbulb, growing moment..
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 16:54:22 +0000
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