Hadas shared a success story: I had such a lovely day with my 16-month-old son, I had to tell you about it. Today at the sandbox, my son wanted to play with a little girl who was about 2 and a half. It was a little difficult since she was verbal and he is just starting to say a couple of words. He approached her by covering her toes with sand. She responded by yelling out to her mom who was sitting nearby on a bench. I told her, I think he wants to play with you. If you dont like him covering your feet with sand, its okay for you to tell him I dont like it. Later, he reached for a toy she was using and she held tight, but was agitated and again started calling for her mom. I told her, It looks like G is interested in the toy you are using, but if you are not done with it, you can tell him Im not done with this toy, Im still using it. After she said that, he moved on to another toy but remained next to the girl. When she moved on to another toy, G seemed interested in that one too and tried to take it from her and I reminded the girl, Why dont you give him the toy youre not using anymore? Her enthusiasm in sharing the old toy made me feel like she was thinking oh yeah! Later, when her mom came over to tell her they were leaving, she didnt want to go! The two of them were playing so peacefully and I was so proud to be able to guide them gently without doing much. The whole day today went like that with other playground scenarios with me adding guidance when needed, and otherwise observing without interfering. At bedtime, I put the happiest, snuggliest, sweetest child to bed. He initiated lots of kisses and hugs, I could tell he had a great day. I want to thank you for your blog and all the examples you give working with children. My whole perspective has changed. Instead of being the judge and saying things like she had that toy first or share I am learning to encourage G and his friends to work out their arguments. Clearly, he wont win in a toy-taking situation with a child a year older than him, but the way it played out, he didnt mind at all. Thanks to you, I know that he probably wanted the interaction more than the toy. Anyway, thanks for all the posts, I am learning so much, and was not self conscious at all about guiding my child and his new friend, though I knew nothing of her moms parenting philosophy! It felt great! (Thank you, Hadas!)
Posted on: Tue, 15 Jul 2014 02:27:11 +0000
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