Happiness -- in your business life and your personal life -- is often a matter of subtraction and not addition. You may not need more of some things; you might simply need less of others. Like what can happen when you stop doing the following: 1. Blaming. People make mistakes. Employees dont meet your expectations. Vendors dont deliver on time. So you blame them for your problems. But you are also to blame. Maybe you didnt provide enough training. Maybe you didnt build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon. Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isnt masochistic, its empowering--because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time. And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier. 2. Impressing. No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all things. People may like your things… but that doesnt mean they like you. While superficially they might appear to like you, superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship. Genuine relationships make you happier. Youll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself. 3. Clinging. When youre afraid or insecure you hold on tightly to what you know even if what you know isnt particularly good for you. An absence of fear or insecurity isnt happiness: Its just an absence of fear or insecurity. Holding on to what you think you need wont make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will. Even if you dont succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself. 4. Interrupting. Interrupting isnt just rude. When you interrupt someone, what youre really saying is, Im not listening to you so I can understand what youre saying; Im listening to you so I can decide what I want to say. Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say. Theyll love you for it--and youll love how that makes you feel. 5. Whining. Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better. If something is wrong, dont waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually youll have to do that. So why waste time? Fix it now. Dont talk about whats wrong. Talk about how youll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself. And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Dont just be a shoulder they cry on. Friends dont let friends whine--friends help friends make their lives better. 6. Controlling. Yeah, youre the boss. Yeah, youre the titan of industry. Yeah, youre the small tail that wags a huge dog. Still, the only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people that means youve decided that your goals, your dreams, or your opinions are more important than theirs. Plus, control is short term at best because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure—and none of those let you feel good about yourself. Find people who want to go where youre going. Theyll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships. And all of you will be happier. 7. Criticizing. Yeah, youre more educated. Yeah, youre more experienced. Yeah, youve been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons. That doesnt make you smarter, or better, or more insightful. That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you. Just like everyone else--including your employees. Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and youll see people--and yourself--in a better light. 8. Preaching. Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging. The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything--and to tell people everything you think you know. When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they dont listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy. 9. Dwelling. The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others. Then let it go. Easier said than done? It depends on your focus. When something bad happens to you, see it as a chance to learn something you didnt know. When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding. The past is just training; it doesnt define you. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right. 10. Fearing. Were all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we cant change, or what we wont be able to do, or how other people might perceive us. So its easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives. Meanwhile days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by. And so do our dreams. Dont let your fears hold you back. Whatever youve been planning, whatever youve imagined, whatever youve dreamed of, get started on it today. If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step. Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything. Otherwise, today is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever. Today is the most precious asset you own--and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.
Posted on: Sat, 22 Feb 2014 04:36:51 +0000
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