Happy New Year everyone! So, Ive decided to do something that Ive never done before. Ive decided to post my new year resolution. For a while now, Ive struggled with ocd, anxiety, and depression. Ive never really wanted to say anything about it, considering I didnt even want to admit it to myself to be honest. But its the truth. And Im not embarrassed or ashamed or afraid anymore. I was afraid. Afraid people would see me as crazy or sick. Afraid people would assume its my home or family life thats the problem, when I couldnt be more blessed with the wonderful, loving, and supportive family that I have. Im blessed with the best home life in my opinion that any person could ever have. Its not got anything to do with that. Its something personal. A struggle within. A battle against yourself. Any negative little thing can trigger a million negative thoughts in your mind. A battle of feeling all alone. A result of being afraid to speak my mind when something or someone bothers me. Being afraid to fully be myself. I realized after seeing statuses from some of my friends that talked about their own similar struggles that it made me feel some sort of relief, that I was relatively normal, that it was something other people were going through too. So thats why Im posting this. If in some way seeing this it can give someone else some sort of comfort knowing theyre not alone, then I feel the need to. The last thing I personally wanted was let anyone know the way I was really feeling. But I now realize that the worst thing you can do is hold it in and not say anything. Thats what the devil wants. I feel like everybody goes through this to some extent. But only some express it. I think its important to express it before you sink down further into it. That being said, my 2015 resolution is to become me again. To become a happier, healthier, me. To really feel again. To be more productive. To not hold in my feelings. To stand up for myself. To love life and live it in the fullest. To learn to love and respect myself again. To know who I am and stand for who I am. To surround myself with positive minds and people who are supportive and loving towards me and my goals. I ask for prayers as I go about this new year with my resolution and for all of those who may have the same one, or completely different ones. Hope everyone has a safe, happy, and blessed new year.
Posted on: Thu, 01 Jan 2015 17:08:37 +0000
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