Has everyone heard of the Affordable Boat Act! Emboldened by their new powers to force citizens to buy insurance, the U.S. government has just passed The Affordable Boat Act, which declares that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These affordable boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs. The law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. The new laws ensures that every American can now have an affordable boat of their own, because everyone is entitled to a new boat. In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people probably dont want or cant afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who cant afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined, and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats until they turn 27. Then, they must purchase their own boat. If you already own a boat, you can keep it (just kidding; no you cant). If you dont want or dont need a boat, you are required to buy a government approved boat anyway. Those who refuse to buy one or cant afford or use one (i.e. they live in the desert), will be regularly fined until they purchase one. A government review board (that doesnt know the difference between a boat and a Christmas tree) will make all decisions regarding the purchase and use of your boat. Those that can afford more expensive boats will be required to do so. After all, they should pay their fair share, right? Naturally, government officials, unions, bankers, large party contributors and big corporations are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain free boats at the expense of tax payers. A committee is also looking at crafting “The Affordable Below-Ground-Swimming-Pool Act”. The hope is that this bill will pass quickly so we can see whats in it.
Posted on: Fri, 08 Nov 2013 16:29:23 +0000
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