Have to share this and I swear its the truth. You were tagged because I either think of you as a foodie, a great cook, having a twisted sense of humor like me, or one who doesnt read my post unless they were tagged. You can decide which bracket you fall under, just enjoy the grin. I get asked pretty often about my kitchen skills. I told Michael early on that owning and operating a restaurant for 20 + years had made my desire to cook null and void- thinking that might be a deal breaker for the trip down the aisle. He didnt care. He still doesnt - 15 years later. He is so easy to share life with. As he left for work this morning, I told him to look forward to a great dinner at home tonight. There are many reasons I dont cook much. Here is a summary of todays reasons. Im Gonna make spaghetti, simple, right? Wrongggg. Brown the meat with no issues and set it aside. So far so good, on to the sauce. Exhibit A shows my minced garlic must have expired....WHEN?? Oh my. Hmm. This sparks a frenzy of checking dates on all food and spices to see what else may be lurking, and the winner goes to 2004. For real. All rubber spatulas are not heatproof and will disintegrate into whatever they are stirring. Oops. Left in the garage unattended, Fresh onions will rot and never let you know until you need them. Like say, in spaghetti. Oh well, no biggie. Ill just find something else to amp it up a bit. Like Mrs Dash. Was unaware that Mrs Dash spicy blend could easily double for pepper spray and could probably stop someone dead in their tracks. Tasting of aforementioned potion will make my lips swell up in a blazing fury. Adding 3 cans of plain tomato sauce does not change the intensity level. Considering adding several cans of beans ( of course I dont have them, 2004 was a long time ago) , and just calling it chili. Scary chili. Frankly, Im scared of that on so many levels. Trying to calm the inferno in my mouth and lips with a Popsicle, and rethinking this whats for dinner thing. Whatever it is, another trip into town is inevitable. Catch a glimpse of myself on the way out the door and realize my twice their size lips are a beautiful shade of swimming pool blue. Decide that ordering a pizza is a fabulous idea. Sit down to share my ordeal and the below pic with Mom, who thinks the picture looks like a BOWL . Even I know a bowl doesnt expire, Mom, come on! I am giggling like crazy as Michael come in from work, cheerily announcing something smells awful good in here, and before I can utter a word, he has helped himself to a sample of this disaster and proclaimed, wow, honey, this is awesome! I love this man. May have to raise a glass of wine to celebrate this one. Spaghetti it is. The end.
Posted on: Sat, 29 Mar 2014 23:14:55 +0000
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