Have you ever turned up for a date and when you insert hands in your pocket, you only feel bells? What did you do, or how do? Losted or borrowed money from persons? Well, a few years ago, I gave this persons a date. She was an ardent fan of Mugithi and only drinked at mugithi joints. At around 8, she called and telled me we meet at Reminisce where she was waiting for me. After I removed from work, I went straight to ATM to withdraw a few thousands to destroy with her. When I inserted my card, and pressed 5k express cash, I saw a message that made me see dim small. "Insufficient funds". Earlier, I had left more money than that. So, I pressed the check balance button. It telled me I had a minus balance. I had issued a check earlier but head was thinking it will hit the account on money, but alas, the guy had an account with the same bank. It is me, with call to Theuri to bail me out. Theuri saided there was no problem. I telled him I had persons at Reminisce that had it on head, so I wanted to know where exactly he was so that I go for it personally because there was no mpesa then. He telled me he was along Mombasa Rd, and telled me to go to Reminisce, he will bring me 5k there to be refunded tomorow of that day. With confidence, I went until Reminisce. In pocket, I had about 700 bob. When I reached there, I ordered my Tusker and hers which come two two. Three hundred remained. I ordered another round, this time, one for her and one for me as I waited for Theuri. Small, she telled me to keep Shiken because she was hungry. I had confidence in Theuri that he will not let me down, he has never letted me down where money matters. I went to the kitchen and telled them to keep one shiken, full. That time, it was kindu 5sock. They asked me what and what to add. telled them. Then, the measurer asked me to pay. I telled him I will pay later. He telled me meats are not measured on credit because some customers measure on credit and fail to come, leaving them with many cooked food that no one want to buy. I telled him to wait small, I will be back with cash. I returned to table and telld the persons I have measured. Small, my beer was finishing and Theuri was still promising to come. Small, he went mteja. There there, I knew I was climbed. I contemplated losting, but then, I saw if I lost, I will be a small man. Head telled me to borrow her money from her because there was no other option left. After all, she also had money and all of us were to enjoy. Infact she was to enjoy most because she will hear the mighty zig zag at her throat. But how to borrow a persons money is not easy. Not easy at all. I started to draw what lies to give as to why I didnt have money. All of them did not seem to enter each other. I saided, let me fill myself and borrow an after all the worst that can happen is her to say, I dont have, and the result will, lets go home then. Head telled me to count one to ten and on tenth time, tell her to borrow me money. So, I counted, 133456... and when tenth reached, I saided.. EEh, Njeri, una... unajua ule jamaa anaitwo Mwangi. naskia anajenga exhbition kubwa pare Moi Ave.." Every time 10th time reached, I would refuse to know how to start and would end up telling her a different story. In her head, I could see she could see all was not well when I startd to suck bottle because my beer had finished now. When she saw me sucking bottle, she called a waiter and removed a thao. As she was removing, I threw my eyes inside her handbag and saw a few notes, exceeding 10 thaos. I went to latrine to give myself strength and ideas to borrow. Inside latrine, I looked at myself and practiced what to say. I saided I will say "Shiru, ka ATM gakwa gatikimeririo na hari jamba yuma indehere indo na ni iikarire. Wina miti iri urehe tunyue ngagucokeria rucio?" (My ATM was swallowed and a guy who was to bail me out is not showing up. Si u lend me 2k of drinking, refundable monday?" Head showed me she will return to bag and remove and tell me, dont even return, after all my money is our money. When I returned to table, I started to count again 1-10 and telled the story I had rehearsed in the latrine area. But I did not borrow 2k, I borrowed 3k because I had putted math as 1500 for our dogogio (it was cheap those days) and 1k for room and 500 for shiken. She did not return, she inserted hand in her bag and removed 3k. There there, I removed to the kitchen where I paid for the shiken they refused to put without seeing money in cash. Then returned to table and started to order for beer in loud voice. After that, all along, and despite the persons having more than 10k in her pocket, she did not buy any other round, even one. By the time we removed from there, all the 3k had drinked water, even that of room. But dogogio had given me confidence now. I drove until room in Ngara and telled her to pay room because all the money she loaned me had finished. Instead of paying, she gave me 1k and telled me to pay. On Monday when we met and to pay her the loan of money of dogogio,although I was expecting her to say, "aa, dont pay that. Si we drinked with you", she telled me I owe her 4k. Even that of room had been added as loan. So, even today, I always refuse to know, why is it that most persons (or is that I have always been unlucky to meet such) even when they have a million in their handbags, they cant pay for dogogio? But I hear there are persons that buys like lack of importance. If there is such a persons, I want to drink on their bill today and I will thank them very very much. They will pay everything, even room, and I in turn, will make sure zig has touched all corners, even if they want it to extend until throat, I will. I am, Dagitari Onjohi, Snr. Gyno.
Posted on: Sat, 24 Aug 2013 12:31:27 +0000